


Lyall- The story of the Durnibaar wolves

by Sanshal



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alpha Jensen, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pack Dynamics, Pack Family, Pack Feels, Wolf Pack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-18
Updated: 2016-07-18
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:47:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanshal/pseuds/Sanshal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jared sometimes wonders what his life would have been like if he had not joined that fateful research expedition all those years ago… It had been a harrowing experience and he had lost most of his team-mates, but had he not joined that expedition, he wouldn’t have met Jensen and his wolves either…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Masterpost

**Author's Note:**

> Posted as my submission for this years Big Bang 2016

 

  **Lyall: The story of the _Durnibaar_ wolves**

 

**Master Post**

**  
  
  
****Word count** – 20k+ words  
****

**Author** : Sanshal  
**  
Artist** : Sammycolt24  
  
**Genre** :RPS (J2)  
**  
Pairing:** J2 (primary)  
  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**  
Warnings**

Slow-build, situations of dubious consent, Language, Mentions of homophobia,  Animal slaughter, Hunting, Deception, Near-death experience, Turning(dubious consent), mPreg( mentions of).  
  
**Disclaimer-**  
All recognizable names (people and places) belong to their own selves. This is purely a work of fiction- not profit, just fun.

 

 **A/N** \- Another year, another Big Bang! Huge thanks to [](http://wendy.livejournal.com/profile)[**wendy**](http://wendy.livejournal.com/) for organizing this year after year- You're amazing- and thank you for letting us pay in your fantastic sandbox!  Also, my Beta (who's sadly not 'on' LJ or AO3). And a round of applause for my artist [](http://sammycolt24.livejournal.com/profile)[**sammycolt24**](http://sammycolt24.livejournal.com/) who's come up with some wonderful and jaw-droppingly beautiful art for my li'l story. Thank you- this fic would not have looked half as interesting without your lovely art! Also, three cheers for you, my dear readers, for taking timeout of your schedules to read my li'l literary offering- this story wouldn't exist without you guys- thanks a ton for all your support, guys.*hugs*  -  **sanshal**

 

**Links -**

**Fiction** (on LJ) **-[MasterPost](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/37951.html)**  / [Part I](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/39776.html) / [Part II](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/39640.html) /[Part III](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/39186.html) / [Part IV](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/39107.html) / [Part V](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/38793.html) / [Part VI](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/38506.html) / [Epilogue](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/38170.html)  

 **Art** \- [ Masterpost](http://sammycolt24.livejournal.com/13196.html)


	2. Masterpost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to have been a research expedition; instead they were left fighting for their survival...

  
**PART-I**   
  


**1**   


Jared watched with some trepidation as the big furry head appeared from behind the scraggly shrubbery. For the past two days he and his team had been hunted by these surprisingly intelligent creatures and as much as the prospect of observing - _and studying_ -these magnificent beasts had excited him initially, he now found himself questioning why he had ever agreed to this research venture. Things had been going so well initially and then that little omega wolf had come _so_ close to them… Ralf hadn’t intended to hurt it, but his tossed pebble had hit the creature hard, making it stumble back. In itself, it wouldn’t have been any catastrophe, but the little wolf had been standing on a treacherous portion of the rocky mountain-side and her fall had taken her straight to the bottom, a miniature landslide erupting in her wake. By the time the dust had settled, the curious little wolf was barely more than a bloody stain smeared across half the mountain side, her lithe body – _or what remained of it-_ grotesquely broken as it lay sprawled on the jagged mountain rocks.  
  
That had been the first night they had heard the high mournful call echoing across the ranges. Something more than grief lined the plaintive howl and Jared had felt goosebumps pricking his skin as he lay in his tent that night. They woke next morning to find Ralf’s tent in tatters and a pool of blood where his bed was supposed to have been. They had all known that wolves were the only creatures apart from humans who avenged their fallen but it was only as the majority of them lost the previous night’s dinner that the truth of the words sunk in.  
  
And things sort of snowballed from there.  
  
Brett killed another wolf- and this time it wasn’t an accident. It turned Jared’s stomach but he kept his silence as the former hunter- _still far too trigger-happy to suit Jared’s tastes-_ skinned the once majestic creature and hung strips of its bloody fur from poles that he set around camp, loudly announcing that seeing the fur of one of their own would scare the wolves from attacking the camp again. When he was offered the creature’s roasted meat at dinner though, he politely but firmly refused.  
  
He woke that night to screams. _The wolves had come._  
  
A handful of others and Jared managed to flee before they were massacred and had been on the run since. At first they thought they had managed to escape but it soon became evident that they were being followed. Whenever they took a break to rest, one of them stood guard; and yet every single time they would find the area surrounding them covered in scent markers. _They never saw the wolves._  
  
The constant threat of unseen attack wore on their minds and the hostile snow-covered treacherous mountains only served to make things that much worse. For whatever reason- _be it the constant guard_ _or the fact that none of them were anything other than academics_ \- the wolves didn’t attack their rag-tag little bunch. For two nights they slept under the watchful eyes of the massive predators they had come to study, always terrified that come morning they would find their numbers dwindled, but nothing happened. They would hear the snap of a twig at times… and on one memorable occasion Jared thought he glimpsed the glittering eyes of doom staring right at him, but the wolves never came closer.  
  
It was on the third day that they first saw the shadows of the massive beasts following them. They began to move faster, fear giving them a fresh burst of adrenaline, but soon it became obvious that an increase in pace meant nothing to these silent carriers of death who kept up easily enough. It was only when they came to the wide icy water of the river that they realized that the wolves were not hunting them, they were simply being herded. For what purpose none ~~neither~~ of them knew. Trapped on the snow-covered bank, it was truly _between rock and a hard place_ or more accurately, between freezing water and razor-sharp teeth for them.  
  
Fear makes you do strange things and one of Jared’s colleagues- _a man he’d known for years_ , finally lost his sanity; pulling out his knife, the doctor charged at the shadows just beyond their sight. Almost instantly the strange truce seemed to dissolve, the wolves emerging from their silent patrol and moving down the slopes in their padded feet. Jared, never having been confrontational a day in his life despite his size, began moving carefully back- he didn’t engage humans on his best day, so facing off with four-hundred pound monsters with wicked sharp teeth and nothing to lose was out of the question. The only thing he didn’t plan for in his retreat was how slippery the pebbles along the river shore could be and within seconds he found himself trapped in the frigid current.  
  
 _None of his teammates even noticed with the commotion from the wolves..._  
  
The next thing he had been aware of was the approaching twilight as he lay on a different snowy bank, the river apparently having tired of carrying his unconscious form. He had moved inward- towards the forest- not realizing that instead of away the river had actually delivered him right into the heart of the pack lands. And that was how he found himself on his knees, staring helplessly as the lithe russet coloured wolf stalked slowly towards him…

2

Jared had never before stared into the eyes of a predator.  
  
He had studied the ethology of wolves in their natural habitat for most of his adulthood, but had never come face to face with one that was intent on destroying him before. Fear had him scrabbling back over the twig _-and snow-_ covered ground and coming to an abrupt halt as his hand skidded on an ice-covered boulder, landing him on his behind.  
  
He scrambled up on his knees and the wolf’s ears twitched- a rumble emanating from the furry chest – at his sudden movement, but the creature didn’t halt its progress. Remembering that he had read somewhere that it was important to maintain eye-contact with wild-animals if one wanted to prove their dominance, Jared kept his gaze on the beast, hands inching into his pockets to check if he had anything- _anything at all-_ that he could use for defence. The growl sounded again, louder and somehow more... _angry?_ – this time and Jared hastily withdrew his hand. The debris under his knees was killing them so he switched positions to sit Indian-style. The wolf paused- _one paw still raised in approach_ \- at the change in his position and Jared heard a huff that sounded suspiciously like a snort before continuing towards him.  
  
Jared wondered how painful it would be to feel those razor-sharp fangs bury in his flesh and prayed the animal wouldn’t drag it out. A dissociated part of him wondered if he shouldn’t be more worried about his impending death, but the scientist in him was happy to observe the creature- _still majestic to him somehow._ He jumped at the snap of a twig to his left and instinctively turned his head towards the new threat; swallowing when he saw that it was another wolf- smaller than the russet one, but armed with the same sharp teeth. It took him a minute to realize that he was _surrounded_ by the creatures, no possibility of escape in _any_ direction.  
  
By the time he turned back to the reddish-brown wolf, he found the creature inches from his face. Throat dry and resigned to his fate, he lifted his chin slightly in offering; hoping the creature would take the hint.  
  
It didn’t.  
  
The wolf tilted his head at his action, sniffing delicately.  
  
Jared held very still... watching as it moved closer- _close enough to touch._ He wondered if anyone else in his predicament would have given in so easily without trying to fight or kill the wolf; but watching those mesmerising emerald coloured eyes and thick fur, he found it impossible to contemplate hurting the animal. _After all, he was the one trespassing-_ his scientific mind supplied _. All the wolf was trying to do was protect its territory._  
  
He gasped when a wet nose pressed against his neck. It reminded him oddly of his dogs though and his fingers wound themselves in the soft fur unthinkingly. The wolf froze at his touch momentarily before its tongue peaked out to lick the sweat off his skin. Jared huffed out a laugh at the unexpected action and burrowed his face in the warm fur at the wolf’s shoulder. The researcher in him briefly wondered how it was that instead of the potent animal smell, all he could scent was a hint of pine.  
  
 _It was surprisingly soothing._  
  
He relaxed, allowing the creature to scent him at its leisure; gathering courage after long minutes had ticked by to gently scratch behind its ears the way his dogs back home preferred. The ferocious creature wagged it’s (really _really_ thick) tail at his action and closed its eyes in pleasure, leaning into Jared’s touch.  
  
Both man and beast flinched when a growl echoed off the pine trees a few feet from them. Jared swallowed, watching as a darker wolf emerged from the undergrowth, having momentarily forgotten his predicament. To his surprise the russet wolf let out an answering snarl, baring its teeth at the newcomer. The black-furred wolf quirked it’s head and yipped, receiving an answering series of barks from the brown-wolf. Jared had the distinct impression that the wolves were actually _talking_. He jumped when the friendly wolf let out what sounded like a dismissive snort and turned back to him, placing its fore-paws on Jared’s shoulder. He recognized the movement from what his dogs did right before covering his face in slobber and closing his eyes, steeled himself to allow the wolf to cover him in its saliva; but nothing happened.  
  
Opening one eye curiously, he found the wolf staring back at him from remarkably intelligent eyes and the pressure against his shoulders increased. Jared was used to having his two dogs jumping him this way, but the wolf was no dog and at (what he guessed) three hundred pounds, no light weight. It didn’t take long for him to topple back, legs still folded since the wolf was standing on them. He grunted when the wolf clambered up completely and let out an indignant yelp when it plonked its heavy body on him, covering Jared like some demented blanket.  
  
He swallowed, lungs struggling to draw in air despite being crushed by the three-hundred pound creature using his chest as a bed and peered up as the black wolf approached. Trapped as he was, he knew he wouldn’t be able to do anything if the wolves suddenly decided he made a good meal, but he had a feeling it was a test. And so, though it made him nearly wet his pants, he didn’t struggle when the black wolf came to sniff at him. The russet wolf looked strangely annoyed (and Jared wondered if he was losing his mind given he was seeing _human_ emotions on a canine face), but didn’t stop the other wolf from nosing around.  
  
He lifted his head when the warm weight disappeared and was relieved to note the black-furred wolf retreat with a final dismissive snort. One by one the wolves disappeared behind the shrubs and Jared waited for the friendly russet one to follow its companions, a part of him strangely depressed to know his ‘friend’ –for that was how he’d grown to think of the green-eyed russet wolf- would leave, but it was after all a wild creature. But long moments passed and the wolf stayed seated by his side and he began to wonder...  
  
A rustling of the bushes roused him from his contemplation and he watched with some trepidation as the black furred wolf returned, its muzzle smeared liberally with the blood of the rabbit it’d killed and which now hung limply from between its jaws. The wolf padded forward confidently and dropped the carcass before _his_ wolf and Jared briefly wondered if he was witnessing the courting habits of these wolves... Then the russet wolf- _he was going to call him Rusty_ , he decided- delicately picked the dead rabbit and dropped it in his lap.  
  
He nearly wet his pants at the soft _splat_ of the carcass hitting his denim covered thigh. He glanced up and found himself staring into hopeful lupine eyes and nearly threw up as realisation dawned.  
  
“N-n-no...” He stuttered, carefully pushing the offering back towards the wolf, “Thank you, though... you eat.”  
  
The wolf made that odd snorting sound again and pushed it back to him.  
  
 _Oh God, Rusty thought this was a game!_  
  
Determinately swallowing down on the bile threatening to rise, he picked the dead rabbit and pretended to take a bite before offering a blood-smeared smile and the rabbit back, “See? I ate. Now it’s your turn.”  
  
Another huff and the wolf stood up, trotting to the woods beyond the bushes without a backward glance.  Jared glanced at the mangled hare and crab-walked backwards, eager to get away from the bloody body when Rusty reappeared. There was something in his jaws and he wondered if he was about to receive another bloody offering. Fortunately, the wolf just dropped a handful (jaw-ful?) of twigs in front of him and stepped back to look at him askance. Jared just stared blankly at his furry friend; uncertain about what he was supposed to do with the twigs (Did the wolf want to play a game of catch?). It took him two other wolves bringing back similar sticks and adding to the pile to understand that the wolves were gathering kindling for him to light.  
  
The revelation took him aback: weren’t animals supposed to fear fire?  
  
He carefully reached into his pocket and retrieved his lighter, haltingly lighting the small bundle of sticks and waited to see how the wolves reacted. The other wolves left but Rusty curled around behind him like a living couch and closed his mesmerising eyes.

3

Jared had thought he wouldn’t be able to sleep out in the open and with a wolf next to him, but apparently exhaustion won out and he found himself blinking blearily as the sun pierced through the clouds. He was even more surprised to find Rusty lying docilely with Jared using him as a body pillow. He jerked back in mortification and heard a snuffle that he was growing increasingly familiar with whenever the wolf thought he did something idiotic. _Yeah, and he was apparently thinking of the wolf’s opinion of him. He really was going insane, wasn’t he?_  
  
Perhaps this was all some elaborate dream and he was really lying somewhere on the snowy mountainside, slowly dying of blood loss and hypothermia.  
  
 _Or maybe he was already dead._  
  
  
Morning saw the wolf granting Jared remarkable privacy while he emptied his bladder and when he returned to the ‘camp-site’ for the remains of last night’s unsalted, but mostly ‘cooked’ rabbit, Rusty was waiting for him with some strange red berries. The wolf hadn’t done anything to hurt him so far, so he cautiously popped one berry into his mouth, eyes instantly shutting as the tart flavour hit his taste-buds. Rusty let out a yip and head-butted his legs. Laughing, Jared scratched behind the wolf’s ears the way he had the previous day but after accepting the petting for a minute, the wolf slithered out of his hold and circled behind him, pushing his snout against Jared’s thighs again.  
  
Jared laughed, “Alright, boy. Lead the way.”  
  
The wolf did something that was akin to rolling his eyes but padded ahead obediently, leading him through the woody area to where some scraggly looking shrubs were growing. Jared hoped it wasn’t another dead rabbit as he neared but was pleasantly surprised to find more of the tart berries growing in the shrubs.  
  
Once he had plucked as much as he could carry, Jared moved to what he assumed was the direction they had come from, but a growl from behind him had him freezing.  When he glanced back, the wolf had his ears flattened apologetically ( _And yes, he knew he was nuts for assigning emotions to a wild creature, but for the sake of his sanity, he had to.)_ Rusty approached him with still flattened ears and licked the back of his hand twice before making a lightning fast move to snag his teeth around the thick flannel of his sleeve and yanking lightly.  
  
Jared stumbled back in shock and stared at the wolf for long seconds, his heart still thundering in his chest. _What if it had been his hand instead of his sleeve?_  
  
The wolf circled once in a tight circle and stepped forward again, this time deliberately closing his jaws around the cuff of Jared’s over-shirt and maintaining eye-contact with him as he did it. When he tugged gently for the second time, Jared relaxed slightly, understanding that the wolf had not attacked, but wanted him to follow. “Okay. Okay... lead the way.”  
  
The wolf released his hold on Jared’s sleeve at that, letting out a short, pleased-sounding howl and trotted ahead; his luscious tail wagging happily.  
  
His feet were _literally_ killing him by the time Rusty even _looked_ tired. And the ~~dog~~ _wolf_ had been running circles around him all day while he’d tiredly trudged along. He was gifted another mangled creature- _this one skinned_ \- too hungry to refuse, Jared smoked it to the best of his ability over the small fire and tore off pieces of meat, popping them in his mouth and trying not to taste the charred, salt-less meat too much as he chewed with quick bites and swallowed. Once all the meat had been picked off, he pulled out the last few berries and savoured them in an effort to rid his mouth of the bitter charred taste. For the second time in his life, he spent the night curled on his side between the fire and a wolf.  
  
It was a clear night and he silently worked on identifying constellations till sleep claimed him. Despite the nip in the air, he found himself comfortably warm between the fire and the warm fur of his lupine friend. He was far more relaxed in the second morning and even snagged a thick branch to serve as a walking stick as he trudged along behind his wolf. There were no berries this time around, and before long, he was fighting off pangs of hunger.  
  
When his stomach growled for the fourth time in as many minutes, he saw Rusty’s head come up, ears cocked. The wolf turned to watch him, his ears drooping and Jared petted the furry head, “its okay. Not your fault.”  
  
Still the wolf whined softly before resuming the trek. A few minutes later, he was brought to a clearing where some three-leafed clovers were growing at the base of the trees. Rusty inclined his head and Jared cautiously plucked one, wiping it between his fingers before popping it in his mouth. The leaves were a strange mix of sweet and tangy and Jared grabbed a few more; chewing on them slowly to give himself a full feeling. When he glanced up, Rusty was nowhere to be seen and for a moment, Jared panicked.  
  
A rustling in the shrubbery a few feet away had him glancing that way and he found the dark furred wolf watching him. Sighing in relief at having not been abandoned, he sat back down; absently plucking at the clovers and chewing on them. He briefly worried if the wolf would attack now that Rusty wasn’t there to guard him, but the woodland creature maintained its distance. He waited for his wolf to return and eventually nodded off against the tree trunk. The sound of something being dragged had him rousing from his doze and he had to wait for a few more seconds before the familiar russet fur made an appearance.  
  
It took another minute for him to understand that the wolf was dragging something behind himself and he hoped it wasn’t another carcass.  
  
Apparently the fates chose to smile upon him because this time, the wolf deposited a frayed backpack before him, obviously abandoned by someone from his team. He fingered the rough fabric for a minute wondering if the owner was still alive or not before hunger pangs shifted his focus. Searching through the items, he found a small knife, a bottle of table salt and three packets of biscuits. One of the packets was half eaten, but still; it was way more substantial than what he’d been surviving on. He hungrily downed one and was halfway through the second one when he remembered the wolf. He held out the half-eaten biscuit and was gratified when Rusty licked at his fingers briefly before accepting the food.  
  
Rejuvenated after his ‘meal’ and the forced rest, they covered another few miles before it got too dark to continue. Once more, he slept under the stars with Rusty serving as his blanket.  
  
It was another night and the better half of a full day before the trees began thinning. Still, it was unexpected to emerge from the woods to a narrow road. Rusty paused next to the last tree bordering the crooked asphalt and watched him silently.  
  
He looked at both sides but there was nothing to indicate in which direction the nearest town lay, so eventually he turned right and took two steps down the road. Immediately, he was halted by a low growl. Turning, he knelt as Rusty approached him and hugged the wolf’s warm body close, scratching through the soft fur and breathing in the scent of pine.  
  
“I’m going in the wrong direction, huh?”  
  
The wolf let out a small sound that he took to be an agreement.  
  
Jared scratched between his ears and wrapped his arms around the lithely muscled body before rising and beginning to walk in the opposite direction. It took him about twelve steps to understand that Rusty wasn’t following him - _or leading him, more likely-_ anymore.  
  
He walked back.  
  
“You aren’t coming?”  
  
The wolf let out a low whine.  
  
He glanced at the road again, “Is there even any traffic on this road?”  
  
A soft growl.  
  
“You think I can hitch a ride, then?”  
  
The wolf wagged his tail and made a tight circle around his legs.  
  
Jared laughed and sat down cross-legged, “Yeah, alright; I’m tired too.”  
  
He didn’t know how long he sat there, sharing stories about his family and his work and his students with the woodland creature when suddenly Rusty went rigid.  
  
“What?” he asked.  
  
But the wolf didn’t answer... _Naturally._  
  
Jared glanced at the road, but he couldn’t make out anything. He turned askance towards the wolf, but with one last lick at his face, Rusty disappeared back into the woods.  
  
Jared stood and dusted his jeans, slowly walking the few steps down the leaf-strewn ground on his way to the road where he could just about make out the form of an approaching vehicle.  
  
It turned out to be a Chevy and the red-faced, tobacco-chewing trucker was glad to let him hitch a ride into town. He took one last glance at the now silent woods and climbed into the passenger seat.  
  
When he glanced at the rear-view mirror, he saw Rusty sitting where Jared had been; watching mournfully as the Chevy drove away.  
\---


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s been two long years but can the past truly stay...’past’?

 

 

  
**PART-II**  


 

 

**1**

“Professor Padalecki!”

He paused from where he was gathering his things to leave the class, partly because very few people could pronounce his name with such flawless diction in a hurry and partly because he never left his students without clarifying their doubts.

He glanced up and couldn’t bring himself to turn his head- the man (... _boy?_ ) in front of him was easily one of the best looking people he’d ever had the pleasure of interacting with: captivating emerald eyes looked up at him from beneath the shadow of thick eyelashes and lush pink lips softened the hard masculine jaw-line. And the unremarkable fitted white tee-shirt under a well-cared for, if old, leather jacket confirmed that this real-life Adonis had a physique to match. What caught his attention though, apart from the good looks, was the strange mix of wisdom and youthfulness in the man’s features: his eyes were knowledgeable and ancient with the crinkles around his eyes attesting to a live well-lived, but the rest of the man’s face was strangely devoid of the rigours of age.

“How can I help you, Mister...?”

“Ackles. Jensen Ackles, and please, do call me Jensen.”

Jared smiled as he accepted the extended hand, feeling the strength in the unusually callused hands. “Are you one of my students, Jensen?”

“Ah, no...” The man ducked his head; cheeks tinged an appealing shade of pink, “I’m... an admirer of yours... your work on the _Durnibaar Wolves_ to be specific.”

Jared felt his walls slam up at the reminder of that fateful expedition. “I see,”

“I... er... I was hoping I would be able to talk to you about a research proposa-”

“You can send me an email about your proposal for me to look through... now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a class to teac-”

“I did,” Jensen interrupted, “I’ve probably sent you about ten emails, _Professor._ You never reply.”

Jared bristled at the implied accusation, “Then maybe you should take the hint, _Jensen._ I-”

“Ten minutes,” The man interrupted; Jared’s curt dismissal apparently only making him all the more persistent as he followed him through the University’s winding corridors, “ _Please_. Just... just grant me ten minutes of your time. I’ll make it worth your while. If you are still not convinced then I shall never bother you again. Please... just ten minutes, Professor.”

Jared sighed, the earnestness in the man’s voice softening his resolve, “Fine-”

“Thank you!”

“But I really have a class to teach now, so you’ll have to wait.”

“Can I sit in?”

He paused at the request, “Why?”

The man shrugged, offering a disarmingly shy smile, “It’s just... this is all very fascinating to me. And I found your last lecture very enlightening. So...” He hesitated before adding, “I’m just curious, I guess.”

Jared shook his head, _few of his actual students were as interested about his lectures as this man._ Still, something made him hesitate, “This lecture’s not about the _Durnibaar_ _wolves_. Or even wolves, actually.”

“It’s about animal behaviour,” Jensen shrugged, “and that interests me.”

“It’s about an endangered species,” Jared amended.

“Even better,”

The man’s persistence was surprisingly refreshing and yet, something in Jared wanted to push him a little further. “It’s about the Himalayan Red Pandas,” He said slowly, waiting to see how Jensen would react.

“Cool!” And the man’s eyes shone with genuine curiosity, “I’ve never heard about them.”

Jared couldn’t help his startled laugh at the unexpected candour, “And you’re still interested?”

Jensen nodded vigorously, “I’ll get to learn about something new,”

Jared bit his lip as he nodded his permission, watching the man take up an unobtrusive spot in one corner of the class room they had just entered. He got busy with his lecture after that but the few times his eyes strayed towards Jensen; green eyes were following the proceedings with rapt attention. The teacher in him was impressed by the innate curiosity and he couldn’t help but wonder if his bona-fide students paid even half the attention in his classes that this stranger was.

The class got over in due course and Jensen followed him to his office, trailing him like an eager puppy given the number of questions he had about the Himalayan Red Pandas. Despite enjoying the man’s insatiable curiosity, in the end Jared was forced to bring back the talk to the pertinent point. “Your interest in my lecture is humbling, but I do believe that we have something more to discuss than furry frugivores.”

Twin spots of red blossomed high on the fair, freckled cheeks and Jared watched in amusement as the man ducked his head in embarrassment. “Sorry,”

He shook his head, waiving the apology as Jensen rummaged through his bag to pull out a thick folder.

“What’s this?”

“Uh... I-...I’m a photographer. So...”

Jared, curiosity piqued; opened the folder and came face to face with the silhouette of a magnificent wolf with a giant red moon in the backdrop.

The next image was that of a different wolf shaking the snow off its thick coat. The third was another silhouette, this time of a wolf with its head tossed back as it howled it’s welcome to the rising moon. The fourth picture was one of wolf-pups piled in a heap as they slept.

He looked up, “These are beautiful.”

Jensen smiled shyly at the praise before offering a slim file, “I’d like to collaborate with you,”

“You only photograph wolves?”

“They’re my favourite subject,” Jensen admitted, “Once I’ve proven that I mean no harm, they let me get real close.”

Jared nodded, “And you want to capture the _Dunibaar wolves_ ,”

“They’re just one pack... and- and... they aren’t as documented as Timber wolves or even the Arctic wolves... and there have been hunters, lately. I want to help the townspeople protect them.”

“Why me?... I mean there were others on that expeditio-”

“But you respect them,” Jensen interrupted.

Jared raised an eyebrow.

“The... the others... what they wrote... it’s about how violent these creatures are... how merciless. But... but when you described them... there’s this...” He trailed off, searching for words, “There’s this majesty to them. ... It’s like... it’s like you care.”

Jared swallowed and glanced away, thinking of Rusty. He glanced back to see Jensen waiting for his response. “You said there have been... hunters?”

The man nodded, “Ever since those papers were published, hunters have been frequenting the region. Killed ten wolves last year.”

Jared watched with mild surprise as Jensen’s eyes filled when he spoke of the dead wolves. “Surely there have been hunters before?”

“Few and far between.” The man mumbled.

“You’re blaming our papers?”

“Not yours,” Jensen shook his head, “You spoke of the good in them... but the others-”

“My colleagues,” Jared reminded, uncomfortable at the accusation against his co-workers.

Jensen nodded miserably, “Their writings painted the _Durnibaar_ as fierce, violent- _malevolent_ \- beasts. A lot of hunting enthusiasts took it as a challenge.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“Statistics,”

Jared looked away as once more he thought of the friendly wolf. ... _Had some hunter slaughtered the well-meaning creature?_

“What do you want me to do?”

“Join me on an expedition-”

“You expect me to go back there?”

Jensen hesitated before nodding once: a sharp jerking movement that betrayed his passion for working with _these_ wolves.

“I lost five co-workers-”

“Were they your friends?”

The question brought him short but Jared shook his head, “Doesn’t matter. I don’t think I can stomach another mauled body,”

“The _Durnibaar_ don’t attack unless provoked,”

“You seem to know a lot about them,” Jared’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

Jensen ducked his head, “I’ve been looking up on them,”

He nodded, mollified, “But can you guarantee that there won’t be another _accident_?”

“Yes,”

Jared’s eyes narrowed, “Fine, let’s say that your claim about wolves liking you is true. And my ... _respect_ for them keeps me safe. What about the others?”

“There will be no others. It’s going to be just you and me-”

“If I agree,” Jared reminded.

The green eyed man’s lips tilted into a smile as he acknowledged, “If you agree.”

 

 

2

Seven months later, Jared found himself staring out of the train window at the approaching green mountains with brown dotting them here and there where a boulder broke through the flora. Next to him, Jensen inhaled deeply as though he could breath the fresh mountain air instead of the stale one circulated by the air-conditioner.

“I’d forgotten how pretty it was,” Jared confessed softly. A part of him had been terrified that the very sight of these mountains would have him relapse into having panic attacks, but he realised that it had been a groundless fear: they had come in winter last time and the entire mountain-side was covered in thick snow. Somehow, the fact that it was spring and everything was in full bloom made this expedition seem a lot more promising.  
***

“The nearest motel, please,”

“The Ranger’s office,”

Both of them spoke at the same time to direct the cab-driver and Jensen had the grace to look away with a blush.

“You’re really looking forward to this, aren’t you?” Jared questioned with amusement.

Jensen shrugged, “You aren’t?”

“Well, as eager as I am to start this work; I really want to spend one last night in civilization, you know?”

 

Jared’s good mood had dimmed considerably by the time he was struggling with the uncooperative key to his room... _or rather, their room_ -at the motel.

He dumped his bag at the foot of the further bed and glanced up at the soft snick of the door closing, watching as Jensen slinked in like a guilty puppy.

“What?”

The green eyed man shook his head, then visibly steeled himself as he glanced up, “I- ... look, I know you wanted a room to yourself... I-...I can make alternative arrangements if you prefer...”

Jared bit his lip guiltily. It was true that he’d wanted a room to himself- it was bad enough that he’d be living in the back-pocket of a virtual stranger _-_ a _hot_ stranger, but a stranger nonetheless _-_ for the next few months. However, it was _not_ Jensen’s fault that the motel was out of single rooms.  “I’m sorry,” he apologised, “It was not my intention to make you feel unwelcome.”

Jensen smiled shyly. _Honestly, Jared had no idea how a grown man could be so endearing._

“I must admit, however, that I’m insanely curious about what that look between the receptionist and you meant.”

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” Jensen mumbled even though the tips of his ears turned a bright red.

 

Later that night, Jensen curled up on the floor without a word and Jared tried to feel guilty for making the other man take the floor, but he was far too relieved to get the bed to himself to regret it genuinely.

He was not surprised to discover the other man to be a morning person, already bustling about while he was still trying to shake the grogginess of sleep. Despite everything, they were on the road by the time the clock chimed seven and Jared considered it a personal victory when they had gotten the directions from the rangers office and were already trekking the first leg of their journey by the time it was eight.

 

 

3

  
Jared considered himself to be extremely fit and he had trained physically to ensure he would be at the peak of his health for this expedition; but still found himself lagging behind Jensen as the older man trekked ahead- _and that had been memorable, discovering that Jensen was actually older than him despite his youthful appearance_. Jared paused for a long minute, panting tiredly as he watched Jensen manoeuvre the trail, as fleet footed on the boulders and fallen branches as a mountain goat. As though sensing his regard, the green eyed man glanced back.

“Are you alright, Professor?” He hollered, cupping his hands around his mouth to make the sound carry.

He nodded, shaking his head at Jensen’s apparently boundless energy as he followed. Jensen waited for him to catch up, holding out his bottle in silent offering when Jared neared.

“Would you like to rest awhile to catch your breath?”

“Aren’t you tired?” Jared grumped as he plonked himself down on the raised root extension of a gnarly old tree.

Jensen shrugged, sitting down next to him. After a minute he enquired, “Do you want me to set up camp?”

Jared couldn’t help but laugh at the obvious reluctance in Jensen’s voice, “What, I’m putting a crimp in your requisite miles per day or something?”

Jensen shook his head, a tiny smile playing at the corner of his lips at the teasing.

“I’m good for a few more miles,” Jared told him, getting to his feet again. He was tempted to retrieve his compass and maps to ascertain which way to head, but Jensen seemed to have it already figured: confidently picking his way through the rough undergrowth.

 

By the time they halted for the day, there was barely any daylight left and it was only when he was done putting up his own tent that he realised that Jensen hadn’t.  
“You... umm... do you require my assistance in setting up?”

Jensen glanced up from where he’d been arranging wood in the fire-pit he’d dug, “Hmmm?”

“Assistance... for your tent?”

“Oh, I’m not making one.”

Jared’s eyes bugged, “You’re not sleeping?”

“I am....under the stars.” Jensen shrugged.

Jared automatically glanced up to see the multitude of twinkling points of light visible beyond the canopy.

“They’re much prettier here than in the city,” Jensen volunteered.

Jared nodded, eyes still taking in the beautiful sight, “Photo-pollution.”

Jensen nodded.

He very carefully didn’t make eye-contact as he spoke, “But...it’s not safe,”

“Hmm?” Jensen turned to glance at him.

“Sleeping out in the open like this.” Jared explained, finally turning to meet the other man’s eyes. “What... what if something happens?”

“I’m a light sleeper,” Jensen shrugged.

“I’d thought I was too. But I still didn’t hear-”

“Jared?” Jensen questioned, warm concern filling the green eyes when he trailed off.

Jared shook his head, “My- my expedition. You know what happened,” He evaded.

“No,” Jensen shook his head, not deceived easily, “What did you mean? Earlier?”

Jared ducked his head, “At- at the camp... none of us heard the wolves. Not...” He brushed his cheeks, abruptly aware of the wetness on his cheeks. “I’m sorry, I just... I can’t lose y-... another team-mate, Jensen.”

“Sshhh...” The older man soothed, pulling him in for a surprise embrace. Jared startled, not having expected such a show of emotion from someone who was essentially a colleague, but was glad for it nonetheless. He wrapped his own arms around Jensen.

“I- I’ve never spoken about this before... I mean, not ... not apart from my therapist,”

“You have a shrink?”

He shrugged, “I needed therapy for months after that expedition. I still go in sometimes.”

“I’m sorry... I- I didn’t know.”

Jared shook his head, “T’was part of the reason I was so reluctant to come back here.”

“Brought back old demons?”

“Yeah,” Jared admitted. “So, uhm... anyway. You shouldn’t sleep outside.”

“The wolves won’t hurt me-”

“We never thought they’d hurt us either.” He interrupted.

“We’re not even in their territory, Professor.” Jensen reasoned.

“I don’t think these wolves have a marked territory,” He returned, “I mean one of them followed-”

“Professor?” Jensen asked softly when he trailed off.

Jared shook his head, reluctant to disclose his story which- _in his experience_ \- was brushed off as fiction by everyone who heard it.

“Tell me, please.” Jensen interrupted his thoughts.

Jared sighed, “One of them followed me all the way to the road,”

“Did he- _it-_ hurt you?”

Jared felt his eyebrows climb at the unintentional slip on the other man’s part but shook his head. _It was the first time someone had believed him..._ “No, but you see what I meant when I said they don’t have a fixed territory?”

“It was just the one wolf that followed you, right?”

He nodded.

“If it was Pack territory, he wouldn’t have been alone.”

“He?”

“Your wolf.”

“How did you know that it was a male? I never mentioned the gender.”

Jensen shrugged, “Universal pronoun? I didn’t...”

Jared nodded, and then glanced up, “So you’ll stay in then? Be safe?”

“You’ll not get any sleep otherwise, will you?” Jensen sighed before adding a reluctant, “Fine,”

“Awesome,” Jared grinned, “So, need any help?”

“Help?”

“With putting up your tent?”

“Oh, uhm... ‘bout that. I don’t have one.”

“You were _planning_ on sleeping outside the whole time?!”

“Yeah,” The photographer nodded, self-consciously rubbing at the back of his neck. “It’s pretty pleasant out, this time of the year.”

“You’re _really_ not worried about getting mauled, are you?” Jared asked in wonder.

“Wolves don’t attack unless instigated.”

“You think _we_ did something?” His eyes narrowed.

Jensen held up his hands- palms up, in a placating gesture, “I’m just saying... that... _something_ must have set them off.”

Jared looked away, forcibly repressing the memories. _He just hoped that all this talk about last time didn’t bring back his nightmares._ He forced himself to focus on the issue at hand and possible solutions to their quandary. It wasn’t long before the obvious answer came to him: “We can share.”

“You won’t mind?” Jensen questioned with narrowed eyes, obviously thinking back on their last night together where he’d made the photographer sleep on the floor...  
 “-because I can just as easily sleep outside. I promise I won’t mind... in fact, that’s _exactly_ what I’d planned to do.”

“I’m sure.”

“But Professor-”

“Jensen,”

“It’s just-”

 

They went back and forth a few times, arguing about the subject, but after much grumbling, Jensen finally relented and followed Jared into his tent. It was tight quarters, but Jared found himself glad for the company as he bedded down in the bed roll.

“Jensen?” He called into the darkness.

A low rumble was his only response.

“How did you know that this isn’t wolf territory?”

He heard movement and saw a slightly darker shape than the surroundings rise slightly. He pictured the photographer to be on his side with his head raised on his elbow, “You didn’t know?”

He shook his head, “Are there signs or something that I missed?”

“Well, paw-prints are usually common in wolf territories.”

“Not really all that visible unless it’s rained.... _or snowed._ ” Jared countered.

“Wolves also leave scent markers in their regions.”

“I didn’t smell anything last time,”

“It was winter last time.”

“And the wolf that saved me...” He hesitated, “He didn’t really smell either.”

“What was he supposed to smell like?” Jensen enquired curiously.

Jared shrugged as he lay back down, “I don’t know how to describe it...just animal smell, you know?... the kind you find in the animal-house back at the institute? Most creatures have that smell... this wolf didn’t. ”

Jensen hummed low in his throat.

“He smelt of pine,” Jared confided.

Another low hum of acknowledgement, but the photographer still didn’t say anything.

“Good-night,” Jared whispered, closing his eyes and letting sleep claim him.

Morning found Jensen awake and ready for the day before Jared had even left the tent. The day continued much in the same way as the previous one with the only difference being that there was no packed lunch from the popular local diner to look forward to. He felt himself beginning to get hungry around mid-day but was too embarrassed to request a break in their journey.

Unfortunately, his rumbling stomach was apparently audible because Jensen called a halt to their progress soon after. They rested against a fallen tree and Jared opened a can of red-beans. It was hardly appetizing fare when not heated and Jensen pulled a face after the first bite. Jared laughed at the photographer’s indignant expression and dug into his share.

“Wait,”

Jared paused with the spoon half-way to his mouth, “What?”

“Let’s make this a little more edible, ‘kay? Stay here.” And with that Jensen dropped his pack at Jared’s feet and melted into the woods surrounding them.

 

 

4

  
  
  
  
“You did a lot of hunting growing up?”Jared enquired as he dug into the roasted rabbit meat.  


Jensen took a large bite from his portion of the meat and chewed as he considered, “Yeah, I guess... I grew up in a ... uhm... a- a  tribe. So, yeah; hunting was an essential skill growing up. You... uh... you don’t hunt?”

“Not unless you count fishing.” Jared confessed, grinning as he remembered, “Even caught one once.”

Jensen joined in the laughter, “Was it edible?”

“Wasn’t really big enough for cooking, but it made for some lovely fry,” He swallowed another bite, then “What about you, ever caught any big game?”

“You mean predators?”

Jared shrugged, “Well, I’m hoping you didn’t kill any lions or tigers, those creatures are endangered already. But maybe...deer?”

Jensen laughed, “Sure.”

“And... uh...” he hesitated.

“What?” Jensen enquired curiously.

“Wolves?” Jared hated that his voice was little more than a squeak, but he hoped the photographer would answer in the negative, _especially given the job they were here to do._

The green eyed man shook his head easily. “Nah, wolves are cool.”

“Just shot them with your camera then. Eh?”

Jensen laughed, “Yeah.”

“Could you teach me? T-t-to hunt?”

“You wanna hunt wolves?!”

“Heavens, no!” Jared laughed, shaking his head vehemently. “Just maybe occasionally contribute to our meals.”

“No, it’s… its fine. I can do that… handle the hunting, I mean. I promise I don’t mind.” Jensen assured, “besides I don’t think you should.”

“What does that even mean?!”  He asked incredulously.

Jensen sighed, “You strike me as the kind of person who’d rather pet the rabbits than use them for a meal, you know?”

Jared frowned and opened his mouth to protest but Jensen spoke over him.

“And I- I don’t mean that as a flaw. It’s a good thing.”

“’course you do,” Jared grumbled.

“I swear on it,” Jensen insisted, “Besides, it turned your stomach to watch me skin them, Professor; it’ll destroy you if you had to kill them yourself.”

“And it doesn’t bother you?”

“Not as much as it would you,”

Jared huffed, “I’m not some delicate shrinking violet, you know.”

Jensen smothered a smile with a rather large bite and shook his head mumbling, “I know,”

 

 

5

Jared watched in apprehension as Jensen spread the two sleeping bags side by side. Perhaps sensing his nervousness, the older man glanced up at him, “You’re sure about this, right? I mean... I’m not forcing you, am I?”

He shook his head, “No, let’s do this.”

Jensen smiled, rising to poke at the fire again and adding in a few more sticks before joining Jared and sliding into his own sleeping bag. For long minutes neither man spoke; both content to stare up at the star-spangled sky... _at least that’s what Jared assumed they were doing._

“You’re beautiful, you know?”

Jared turned his head in surprise to find Jensen staring at him, “Um... thank you, I guess?”

Jensen smiled, eyes reflecting the firelight behind Jared and looking more amber than green. “Would you let me photograph you?”

Jared felt his brows climb towards his hairline in surprise, “ _What?!_ ”

Jensen backed away as much as he could while in the confines of his sleeping bag, “I’m sorry,”

Jared shook his head, surprised by how spooked Jensen seemed by his reaction, “its fine, I was just shocked.”

Jensen nodded, scooting closer again, “I didn’t know it would offend you.”

“It didn’t... _doesn’t._ ” He assured, “I-... I just didn’t expect it, you know? I didn’t realize you photographed human subjects as well.”

“I don’t,” Jensen agreed, a dark blush painting his cheeks that was visible even in the dim light from the fire.

“I’m the exception?” Jared teased, “Wow, you _really_ must like me.”

Jensen didn’t reply and after a minute of awkward silence Jared found himself muttering an apology, “I’m sorry.”

“Not your fault,”

“I-... I just didn’t realize, Jensen...” He pleaded helplessly.

“I know,” The older man agreed, repeating “It’s fine.”

“It’s just...” Jared wasn’t sure why he was explaining himself, but it somehow felt very important that Jensen understand that he wasn’t making fun of him, “I just wasn’t expecting it, you know?”

“I didn’t mean to upset you,”

“I-… I’m not.” Jared responded, “were… were you ever planning on telling me?”

Jensen shook his head immediately, “I imagined you wouldn’t much appreciate that, Professor.”

Jared nodded, staring silently at the flickering flames for a minute before speaking, “I just… I’ve always imagined myself to be straight, you know?”

“You’re saying I’m… _crooked_?”Jensen enquired, tone completely without sarcasm.

“Heavens, no!” Jared laughed at the word choice, even though a part of him felt offended at being viewed as a bigot. He decided a little honesty could only improve the situation and confessed, “I’m not that narrow minded! ...I- I’ve never had any personal experience. Didn’t say I wasn’t curious.”

“Curious?”

“Yeah…” Jared shrugged, “You know… ‘bout what it’d be like.”

Jensen nodded.

“So have you? Had a lot of experience?” Jared asked after a moment.

Jensen shook his head, “My…uh- my job didn’t really leave me with much opportunity.”

“I would’ve thought being a photographer meant you’d have ample opportunity,”

“Oh, ummm… It was a different job. Back home.”

“Tell me?” Jared invited curiously, “I thought photography was your primary occupation,”

Jensen shook his head, lying back down to stare up at the inky darkness of the night sky interspersed here and there by a star or two. “It’s more of a hobby, to be honest.”

“But you’re good at it,”

Jensen shrugged.

An unexpected yawn interrupted his next question.

“It’s late. You should sleep.” Jensen told him, closing his eyes and turning away from him.

Jared knew a dismissal when he saw one and this was clearly one. He sighed as he closed his own eyes.  
***  
He had worried it would be awkward between them or something, but Jensen was back to his usual self in the morning, walking up ahead as he led them to the _Durnibaar_ territory. He had expected them to be close, but Jared froze nevertheless as he stared at the shaking bush and barely managed to hold back a terrified scream as he watched the scraggly grey-furred wolf emerge. It was eerily reminiscent of his encounter with Rusty, but this wolf seemed nowhere near as friendly as the russet wolf.

“Jensen!” He called, even as he held still.

The photographer loped back towards him in five easy strides and Jared prayed he wouldn’t startle the wolf into attacking.

“Hey, buddy,” Jensen called and Jared watched the wolf tilt its head curiously at Jensen. He bit his lip to keep from protesting when Jensen extended his hand and the wolf stepped forward to sniff.

“You’re terrified,” Jensen observed while he scratched between the creatures ears.

“Y-yeah,” Jared acknowledged as he tried to regulate his breathing back to something resembling normal. He watched in awe as the creature toppled over to expose its belly for Jensen to scratch. _He could hardly remember being as brave once (although he’d never been foolhardy enough to give belly-rubs to wolves), but now all he could remember when he looked at the creature was how its pack had torn his team-mates apart._

“Want to pet him?” Jensen asked, rising and heading towards Jared as though he’d already answered.

He shook his head, taking a step backwards and freezing when the wolf rumbled its disapproval.

“I-I thi-ink it likes y-yu-you better.”

Jensen caught his wrists and looked up to meet his eyes, “Trust me, he’s not gonna bite.”

Jared swallowed but allowed the man to step up behind him till they were pressed chest to back.

“Easy,” Jensen soothed, “On your knees… _slowly_.”

Jared carefully lowered himself down on the grassy floor, eyes never leaving the wolf’s.

“I’ve got you,” Jensen whispered, “Trust me,” And he carefully undid the button on Jared’s collar.

Jared trembled as the wolf instantly approached, but Jensen was immovable as granite behind him and gave him no quarter. A cold, wet nose touched the vulnerable hollow between his neck and shoulder and Jared closed his eyes, opening them only when he felt a rough tongue lap at his cheeks.

“See? He likes you,” Jensen whispered and Jared nodded mutely, carefully raising his hand to scratch between the wolf’s ears the same as Jensen had done.

 

 

6

After that first wolf, they encountered more as the moved closer to the packlands. Jared kept hoping that he would see _his_ wolf, but as more and more time went by and there was no sign of Rusty, he began to fear for the fate of the friendly wolf.

A russet wolf emerged from the undergrowth and charged directly at Jensen and for a moment Jared was terrified that the wolf was going for the photographer’s jugular but the older man only laughed and reached out to grab the wolf, holding him… _her…_ under her forepaws and lifting her so that she could lick his face.

“What’s wrong?” Jensen asked when the man turned to face him, still holding the now squirming wolf.

“Hmmm?”

“You’re crying. Why?”

Jared touched his cheeks, surprised by the tears there. He shook his head to ward off the other man’s worry, “It’s nothing,”

“Nothing doesn’t make you cry,”

Jared smiled, “I was just thinking of the wolf that saved me… it was russet furred too.”

“You thought she was him,” Jensen said.

Jared met the green gaze and nodded slowly, “At first glance. He was bigger, though. And his eyes were green, not brown.”

Jensen nodded but didn’t say anything more as he finally set down the wolf and scratched her between her ears when she butted his knee with her head.

Jared watched the wolves milling about his companion and shook his head. _Jensen should have been the model instead of the photographer._

 

  
_\---_

**[Masterpost](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/37951.html)  
[Next](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/39186.html) **


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The wolves do like Jensen better...

  **PART-III**

**1**

Jared wasn’t sure what roused him, but when his eyes adjusted to the darkness, it was to the realization that Jensen wasn’t in the tent. The camp fire was casting shadows on the tent though, and he could make out the outline of a man sitting. One of the shapes dissolved suddenly to leave a second human shadow and Jared rubbed his eyes in disbelief. _Guess he was sleepier than he thought._

When the two humanoid shapes _still_ didn’t resolve into one, he assumed it to be a trick of the firelight.

Still, curiosity had him moving to the open tent flap and peering out. He didn’t know _why_ he was trying to be quiet only that some instinct was guiding him into staying as silent as possible. He nearly gave himself away when he saw the tall, dark-haired _naked_ stranger next to Jensen but by some miracle neither of the men noticed him.

Jared licked his lips nervously as he tried to observe them while staying hidden himself, but relaxed when he found nothing threatening about them after a minute. They were speaking too low for him to catch their conversation, but he could get snatches. He frowned as he realized that the stranger was asking Jensen to accompany him somewhere... _and why was he calling him ‘alpha’?!_

Jensen asked about people Jared didn’t know and gave his... _advise?..._ on things the stranger asked. When the stranger let out a loud guffaw at something Jensen said, the photographer clamped his hand over his mouth and shook his head sharply, “Jared’s asleep,”

He nearly gave himself away at that but managed to stay silent. He was growing drowsy watching as the two men chatted when suddenly the stranger let out a low... _growl..._ and dissolved into a large black wolf. Jared gasped in surprise and shrank back as two heads whipped instantly in his direction.

He backed away as Jensen stepped closer, hands held out pleadingly. The dark furred wolf growled low in his throat and both Jensen and he froze.

“Jeff. _Go.”_ Jensen ordered sharply, turning his head briefly to glare at the creature and Jared watched as the wolf took off with a high-pitched whine.

“Jared..?” And despite his trepidation, he could not help but notice that this was the first time Jensen had used his given name. He found he liked the way it rolled smoothly off the other’s tongue.

He gave himself a mental shake. _NOW was not the time to indulge in such romantic idiocies._

“What was that... _thing_?” His voice came out much sharper than intended.

“He was one of the Durnibaar...” Jensen began slowly.

“Are you one too?” Jared cut in.

“Yes,”

“You’re a _wolf?!_ ” Jared questioned incredulously, the scientist in him unable to comprehend such a ...such a _supernatural_ phenomena.

Jensen nodded hesitantly.

“So... _how_ were you planning on telling me that you’re a werewolf?”  Jared asked after a minute of uncomfortable silence.

“Ummm.... in- in an awkward conversation, I guess.” Jensen answered, one hand rubbing at his nape nervously.

Jared couldn’t help the startled laugh at that, Jensen joined in cautiously after a second. If nothing, the humour helped to dissipate the unease that had settled since Jared’s discovery.

“I am a wolf,” Jensen spoke up finally after another pause, “Are you scared?”

He shook his head immediately, but then hesitated, “Are you going to hurt me?”

“No,” Jensen assured immediately.

“What- no ‘ _guard your magic from muggles_ ’ oath?” Jared teased.

Jensen’s brows creased in confusion, “I- I do not understand that reference,”

“It’s from Harry-.... never mind.” Jared sighed, “Will you show me your true form?”

Jensen’s head tilted in perplexity, “This _is_ my true form,”

“Alright, touché.” He conceded, “So... will you show me? Your wolf form, I mean?”

Jensen hesitated, “You’re sure you’ll not freak?”

He nodded, “Well... you’re not going to go rabid or something, are you?”

The man smiled, shaking his head and headed behind the shrubs. There was a light rustling and then Jared’s wolf padded out cautiously towards him.

“Rusty!” He breathed, shoulders slumping in relief at the realization that his fear for the friendly wolf was unwarranted. Jensen tilted his head to the side curiously at the word.

Jared shook his head, grinning, “It’s what I called you in my mind. Before I knew your name, I mean.”

The wolf let out a dismissive snort and Jared extended his hand for the creature to sniff.

Jensen nuzzled against his palm for a few seconds before crowding him and pushing his cold wet nose into the warmth of Jared’s shoulder. Jared instinctively wrapped his arms around the large furry body, breathing in the scent of pine and smiling as he realized how much he’d missed it. “I’d missed you,”

He didn’t know how long he sat there like that, combing his fingers through the thick fur before his lids grew heavy.

“Stay,” Jared whispered as he lay down, one hand still loosely fisted in Jensen’s fur as he gave in to his body’s need for slumber.

The wolf was still there when he woke up in the morning and Jared realized that last night’s events had not been some crazy dream. The wolf wandered off when he went to answer nature’s call and when Jared returned, Jensen was waiting for him.

Later as he watched Jensen lie down and allow wolf-pups to clamber all over him, he figured it finally made sense why wolves were so amiable to Jensen.

“Can I borrow your camera?” Jared called.

Jensen turned his head to look up at him, “Sure,”

And so Jared got the camera and snapped pictures of his photographer playing with wolves.

“Can I ask you something?” Jared enquired later that day as he petted some of the pups that had been climbing over Jensen all day.

“Umhmm,”

“Don’t take this the wrong way, but...were you stalking me?”

“No, not really.”

Jared raised an eyebrow and Jensen laughed. “Well, the news of your expedition was splashed across the papers, so I found out your name and then looked up some of your articles.”

Jared nodded, impressed despite himself.

“I-... I wanted to contact you, but didn’t know how; and when I read your papers, I realized that this was my way in. I just had to figure out how to become a part of the expedition. So ... uhm... I took a few photography classes-”

“I thought you said it was your hobby,” Jared interrupted.

“It is, but I never had formal training so the classes helped me improve my technique. And then I went across some of the known wolf reserves, photographing them and selling pictures... I needed to establish myself to catch your eye... and while I wasn’t good enough for that, I don’t think I came across as a fraud when we met.”

Jared laughed, “You didn’t...”  
“Thank God,”

“So this whole expedition...?”

“It’s real,” Jensen cut in, “There really has been an increase in the influx of hunters and I really want to get some sort of injunction against them,”

 

2

Jared climbed up the gnarled steps to the tree house and was helpless to stop his grin as he reached the wide porch that wrapped around the structure. Somehow, it wasn’t a stretch to imagine Jensen prowl around in his wolf form in this place. The green eyed man was rubbing his nape awkwardly in a gesture Jared recognised as embarrassment.

“You built this?”

“I had help,” Jensen confessed and then pushed open the door to lead Jared inside.

He had expected the inside to have an open floor plan with only the bathroom sectioned off, but was pleasantly surprised to discover that there were two whole rooms apart from the large drawing-cum-dining area. He wasn’t surprised to discover that there were no beds, only thick mattresses on the floor with a pile of pillows and cushions... even a plushie tucked in here and there. He retrieved one that had been Pooh-bear at some point in its history and raised an inquisitive eyebrow at Jensen.

The _Durnibaar_ blushed adorably, muttering, “Well, I guess my wolf appreciates cuddly things.”

He had a flash of Rusty curling up against him in the frigid outdoors and saving him from freezing and nodded, refraining from teasing the older man.

 

3

Jared lay next to Jensen on the surprisingly comfortable mattress and stared at the rafters. They were surrounded by Jensen’s collection of pillows and stuffed toys and Jared couldn’t help but chuckle as he rolled to face Jensen and felt something soft press into his tummy. He wriggled as he pulled it out and discovered it to a rather worn _Toothless_.

“Dragons...  _really_?”

Jensen too shifted to face him, his eyes glittering in the dark, “Well, seeing as _I_ exist, I don’t think anything is impossible, you know?”

Jared giggled at that, “Touché,”

“Can’t sleep?” Jensen enquired after a few seconds when Jared continued to watch him.

He shook his head, “Was just was thinking about how impossible you are.”

“I would think my very existence would prove that whole concept wrong.... improbable, maybe. But not impossible.”

“Yeah... but _how?”_

“How we came about?”

Jared nodded.

“It’s a long story,”

“I have the time,” He shrugged.

Jensen smiled. “Well, legend has it that an Indian monk meditating on the Himalayas got this strange ... feeling-”

“A disturbance in the Force,” Jared observed: _Of course Jedi were involved!_

“What?”

“Never mind,” He sighed, “Dude, we really need to get you to watch all these awesome movies.”

“If you think it necessary,” Jensen conceded solemnly.

Jared tried to force back his laughter at the wolf’s somber words and gestured at him to continue.

“Well, so he somehow found his way here and... There was this female wolf he rescued, she’d injured her foot and he nursed her back to health and then … he just never left. She... she sort of became his companion. Years later, when the wolf’s body was old and she was on her deathbed, he used his ... powers to transfer her life force into that of a new born cub.”

“What happened to the cub?”

“Hmmm?”

“The cub, whose body the wolf’s spirit took over,”

“Oh, it… it was a dead cub.”

“Dead?” Jared whispered, remembering playing with Samantha’s pups- _though not new born_ \- earlier in the day and hating the thought of any of them or any _like_ them _-_ dead.

“Hunter’s had struck earlier in the day, killed the wolf as she was birthing… They were too young and without their mother-” he trailed off.

Jared snuggled closer and Jensen immediately wrapped an arm around him. “Do- do you wish for me to continue?”

“Yes, please.”

Jensen nodded, “Well, once he’d done that, he then decided to join his friend and departed his earthly form. Given that the wolf that had birthed the pups whose bodies they took over had been killed by hunters; these pups would’ve never survived had nature had her way... But they… they weren’t ordinary pups, were they? So they did survive and were the first of the _Durnibaar_ who could shift between forms. Every wolf that has been born in these mountains can do the same ever since.”

“Wow,” Jared breathed, “Why _Durnibaar?”_

“Hmmm?”

“ _Durnibaar_ … what… what does it mean? I mean, why were- _are-_ these wolves... _you._.. called the _Durnibaar_?”

“It’s an Indian word. I guess them ascetic brought it with him when he came… Translates roughly to unstoppable and is used in connotation with forces of nature.”

“Makes sense,” Jared hummed.

“Yeah?”

Jared nodded, “Yeah, definitely; I mean you guys are practically insuppressible, uncontainable, and...” He laughed at himself, “Yeah, I’m running out of adjectives.”

“Do I frighten you?”

“Not anymore,”

“I used to?” And there was that eloquent arch of a single eyebrow.

Jared bit his lip uncertainly and shrugged, “That...the first time we met?”

Jensen nodded.

“I’d just escaped being massacred-”

Jensen frowned and opened his mouth to object but Jared pressed his fingers to stop the man from speaking.

“I mean... I ... I dunno,” He shrugged, “Maybe you guys were just escorting us out... were you?”

Jensen nodded.

“Yeah, so... but well, when-when Bill charged, the wolves retaliated and –and-and-”

“Breathe, Jared,” Jensen interrupted, placing a warm hand over his sternum.

He took in a shaky breath and smiled sheepishly at the man, “Sorry,”

Jensen shook his head, “Not your fault,”

Jared nodded and looked away, staring out of the open door at the sprinkling of stars he could make out through gaps in the canopy. Despite being a researcher of animal behaviour, he’d never spent time looking at the stars in a forest and Jared smiled as he took a moment to appreciate their beauty. Jensen’s arm tightening around him had him glancing back at the older man. “huh?”

“You were telling me about your expedition,” Jensen reminded.

“Oh.” Jared blushed, hoping the dark hid the colour in his cheeks, “S’rry.”

Jensen shook his head, “No problem,”

“So... uh... that was pretty much the last I saw before falling into the water,”

“What?”

“The wolves tearing into my... into my colleagues....” He shivered at the memory, “God, there was just much blood, Jensen...”

“I know.” The wolf’s glittering eyes shuttered briefly, “Not... not one of our finest moments,”

Jared snuggled closer, feeling safe somehow, despite discussing how his team-mates had been shredded by Jensen’s people. “The snow was pink,”

“I’m sorry you had to see that,”

Jared nodded, “Anyway, I was in the water and cold and freezing and sure I was going to die... and then everything went black.”

“I’m so happy you didn’t drown,”

Jared smiled, “Yeah, me too.”

“What happened then?”

“Well, I was on the banks when I came to. I had no clue how far downstream or where I was. .. and I’d lost my back-pack somewhere... So I hiked inland, hoping to reach civilization-”

“And instead walked right into Pack territory,” Jensen finished.

Jared blushed, “Yeah,”

“So when I found you-?”

“I was sure you’d come to finish the job your friends had started,”

“You never tried to defend yourself...”

Jared shrugged, not wanting to reveal how close to giving up he’d been. “What can I say? You are a charmer even as a wolf?”

Jensen laughed, dissipating the tension that had crept up between them.

For long minutes they simply lay there, just enjoying laying together in silence.  
“Jensen?”

“Hmm?”

“You said that the Durnibaar don’t attack unless provoked but...”

Jensen raised himself on one hand to peer at him.

Jared blushed but forced himself to continue, “”Well, the –the expedition...”

“You want to know what happened?”

He nodded.

“You remember Eileen?”

“Who?”

“The wolf who had ventured too close to you guys and who... uh... who fell off that boulder?”

Jared nodded, “Yeah, Ralf tossed a pebble in her direction. Terrified her, apparently.”

“Yes,” Jensen murmured.

Jared closed his eyes for a minute, it was one thing to remember that _wolf’s_ death...but knowing that she was one of the Durnibaar and had a human form...He shuddered.

“Her mate... Anthony-” Jensen trailed off.

“She looked so young,” Jared interrupted, “She had a mate?”

“Well, she was promised... we... the wolf chooses our mate for us. If one of the pair is too young, the other will court him or her till they come of age.”

“You don’t get a choice?”

“The wolf is rarely wrong...”

“Oh. ... ummm... wow.”

Jensen smiled softly, “Yes, it is incredible.... anyway, as I was saying, Tony couldn’t accept her death. The council had already ruled Eileen’s death to be a regrettable accident and that there would be no call for vengeance... but-”

“He disagreed?”

“He didn’t _say_ anything...”Jensen returned, “But he went against the Council’s decision when he hurt that man-”

“Ralf,” Jared filled in.

“Ralf,” Jensen amended.

“What... can I ask what happened to him? I could maybe apologise for Eileen’s death. Give him some closure.”

Jensen sighed, “You cannot flout the Council’s order, Jared. Anthony was put to death,”

Jared inhaled sharply. “You... you had him killed?”

Jensen nodded sadly, “The law is absolute.”

“And nobody is above it?”

“No,”

Jared closed his eyes and snuggled closer to the older man, he may not agree with it, but he was no one to judge.

“So when Brett...?”

“Your team-mate’s action had the whole community baying for blood. I’m sorry,”

Jared smiled wryly, “The law of the jungle, right?”

Jensen stiffened, “I’d like to believe that we are more civilized than that, Jared.”

“S’rry,” He mumbled guiltily. “Didn’t mean to offend you,”

He felt warm lips press against the top of his hair, “Not offended.”

“Jensen...?” He called after another long minute.

The man chuffed out a laugh, “What now?”

“Does ... does this mean that some of the Pack is offended by my presence?”

The man shook his head swiftly. Jared wondered if it was _too_ swiftly. “They know you mean no harm. You are welcome here, Jared.”

He smiled as he finally relaxed, “Thank you,”

 

4

His days passed surprisingly pleasantly with the Pack... even though he was not one of them, they never let him feel alienated. For the most part he prowled about, learning about the customs of the Durnibaar and taking pictures of the pack in wolf-form for his paper.

It was quickly obvious that Jensen held an important rank among the Pack and the older man would be called away on Pack business. He caught sight of him occasionally, his russet furred wolf form regal somehow and when he caught him looking from a distance, the wolf would always tilt his head in what Jared understood was an acknowledgement of his presence.

The best part, by far, was getting a chance to interact with the pups. Full of boundless energy and rarely in humanoid form, the pups were very welcoming of Jared; eager to use his large frame as their personal jungle gym.

Once when Jensen caught him reclining against a boulder with the cubs climbing all over him, he shook his heads and wandered off. Jared was debating if he should follow or not when Jensen returned in his wolf form, sprawling down on the boulder next to Jared and he watched in amusement when the cubs all abandoned him within seconds to nose around Jensen’s massive form. Once or twice he would flick his tail at a particularly mischievous pup, but for the most part Jensen appeared content to just lie there while the cubs played.

Jared sneaked off and retrieved Jensen’s camera and grinned when the wolf rolled his eyes at his sentimentality but continued to lounge on the boulder.

 

5

“We need to discuss how we’re going to write this article...” Jared informed Jensen as they both lay on the river bank watching mothers drag their protesting pups to the water and dunk them in.

“That’s your department, Professor,”

“Yeah, but... I need to know what you’re comfortable disclosing to the world and-”

“You cannot tell them that the Durnibaar shift between two forms or they’ll lock you in a nut-house,”

Jared laughed, “Yeah. I’m sure they will.”

“So what’re you asking, Jared?”

“Are you okay with me revealing your customs?”

“Customs like?”

He shrugged, waving his hand in a vague gesture that encompassed everything.

“I trust your judgement,” Jensen told him.

“Thank you,” Jared whispered, “Would you like me to mail you my draft before I submit it or-”

“hmm?”

“Or would you prefer that I mail you the final product?”

“What do you mean mail?... You... You’re planning on leaving?” Jensen questioned.

Jared glanced up in surprise at the man, “Ye-... yeah. You thought I was going to stay?”

Jensen shrugged.

“I- I cannot stay, Jensen.” He whispered, “Much as I want to, my job... my life is not here.”

Jensen nodded and glanced away.

“No,” He protested, “I’m serious, man... I- I’d love to stay-”

“Then stay.” Jensen murmured.

“I can’t.” He shrugged helplessly, “I can’t leave my job just like that on a whim, man. Besides... what would I _do_ here?”

Jensen didn’t say anything for a long moment. Then he appeared to come to a decision because he nodded to himself, “I’ll have Jeff escort you to town whenever you’re ready,”

Jared opened his mouth to protest but Jensen rose and left, his body language clearly screaming ‘ _stay away’._

 

6

Jared turned in his seat one last time to see the little colony as they drove to town, Jeffrey a dark presence by his side. He sighed as he failed to locate Jensen.

The older man had disappeared with the first rays of the sun and Jared had failed to locate him. He’d delayed leaving as much as he could, but ultimately Jeffrey had informed him that it would not be prudent to delay anymore since the mountain roads got treacherous after dark and with a heavy sigh he had acquiesced.

He had been taken aback by the black Chevy at first, briefly wondering if this had been the same truck to drive him to town that first time, but it quickly became evident that it wasn’t.

On questioning, he had been told that the Pack owned the one truck to ferry members to town in cases of emergency or when they brought supplies back.

“Will you tell him I said ‘goodbye’?” He asked, hopping down when Jeff stopped the truck on the outskirts of town.

The man nodded curtly before deftly manoeuvring a sharp ‘U’ and driving back the way they had come.

Jared just stood there watching the red tail-lights diminishing in the distance till they couldn’t be seen anymore.

\---  
**[Masterpost](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/37951.html)  
[Next](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/39107.html)**


	5. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Return to the wild...

 

  
**PART-IV**

1 

Without Jensen at his side, the trek into _Durnibaar_ territory took him a full week. He had grown tired of the canned meals he was subsisting on by the time he spotted the first wolf. This time he was not scared of the large, furred predator.  
“Hey, there...”

The wolf cocked its head to one side but held still.

“I- ... uh... I came to meet Jensen?”

The wolf snarled at the name, baring sharp canines that had Jared shrinking back in shocked terror. “You... you’re not one of the Durnibaar?”

The wolf maintained its snarl as it advanced on the researcher and soon had Jared backed up against a tree. Once Jared had his back plastered to the tree-trunk, the wolf lifted its head and let out an echoing howl. Jared flinched, trying to move side-ways so that he could escape what was no doubt a wild wolf. Unfortunately, he stepped on a dried leaf and it crunched under his shoes, making the wolf’s head snap in his direction again. The loud growl had him freezing.

He was debating whether to risk shouting out loud for Jensen would help when several more wolfs emerged from around them. At least two of the furry bodies looked familiar, but given the way they were all snarling at him, he couldn’t be sure.

He was just about to give in and scream for help- even if it would possibly be futile- when Felicia walked out from behind the trees.

“Jared?!”

“Felicia. Thank god. ... I’m not sure whether they recognised me.”

“What are you doing here, Jared?” She asked. Her demeanour was calm, but Jared could see the rage lurking in her eyes.

“What?”

“Why’re you here? He’d not dead yet, if that’s what you wanted to find out... and we’re not letting you study his last days for your work.”

“He- what?! Jensen’s unwell? He’s _dying?”_

She frowned.

“Why didn’t anyone call me?”

“You... didn’t know?”

“NO,” He shook his head, “anyway, will you take me to him?”

“No,”

“Felicia, please. I need to see him,”

“What part of ‘ _he’s dying’_ do you not understand?” She countered.

“Have you consulted a physician?”

She shook her head, “He wouldn’t go,”

“I’m not a doctor, but maybe I could help. Take to him, please?”

“I’m not letting you anywhere near him,” She growled and Jared could see her lupine side in her anger.

“What if he finds out that I came to see him and you didn’t let me, huh?” Jared countered. He’d not wanted to play the guilt card, but it was his last resort. “How do you think he’d feel then?”

Before she could reply there was a rumble and Jeff emerged from the undergrowth in his wolf form. He took in their positions and shifted, advancing towards Jared with fisted hands.

Jared very carefully kept his eyes on his face as the dark haired man approached.  
“What’s happening here?”

Felicia tilted her head briefly in acknowledgement before explaining the situation to him, but Jeff was shaking his head much before she had finished. “Take him to Jensen,”

“But-”

“Take him,” Jeff repeated, eyes narrowed, “and if he tries to escape, shoot his knee caps.”

“What?” Jared squeaked.

Chocolate eyes locked on his. “You’re not going anywhere, _Professor_.”

He swallowed but nodded, not wanting to antagonize the man who was threatening violence. Besides, he was fairly confident that he would be able to talk Jensen into letting him go (he just hoped that Jensen still outranked this guy).

He had taken a step to follow them but was slammed back into the tree-trunk by Jeff. Jared whimpered, truly terrified and wondering if the man had changed his mind, “And,”

“And what?” He choked out, shrinking back against the tree to get away from the rabid wolf-man instead of fighting his hold.

“And you _do NOT_ try to talk Jensen into letting you go,”

He shook his head immediately.

“I _will_ find out if you do and then no one shall ever find you,”

Jared whimpered.

“I mean it, _Professor_. … Jensen is far too self-sacrificing to refuse you anything. But I _will_ not let you hurt him again!”

“I’ll never hurt him!” Jared protested.

“No?” Jeff countered, “Then leaving him was supposed to be for him, was it?”

“I _had_ to!” Jared argued, “It’s my job!”

“And your job is more important than Jensen’s life?!”

“Jensen’s sick because of me?”

Jeff drew back, “You didn’t know?”

“Know what?”

“You rejected the bond, so…”

“I _what_?!”

“Rejected your bond.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, but I didn’t reject anything!”

“That idiot.” Jeff grumbled, “Fine, come on,”

Jared hurried along, “What is it?”

“Jensen’s wolf took you as it’s mate… but when you left, he took it as a rejection of your bond-”

“And so he’s dying…” Jared filled in.

Jeff nodded.

“He’ll get better if I’m there?”

“We hope so,”

 

2

Jared felt his heart shatter when he finally spotted Jensen in the distance. The man was in his wolf form and lounging on a large boulder, but his fur appeared dull and matted instead of the vibrant russet tone Jared was used to seeing.  
“Jensen?”

The wolf lifted his head and regarded him with dull eyes before apparently recognizing him and sitting up straight. Jared winced when he saw how _thin_ he was: his ribs visible even through the thick fur pelt.

Jared held out his hand and the wolf nuzzled his palm for a few minutes. And then abruptly turned and walked towards the tree-house. Jared followed wordlessly. Jensen was pulling up a loose pair of sweatpants by the time Jared climbed up.  
“Jensen?”

The green eyed man turned to face him at the name, his hair as matted and limp as the wolf’s fur had been. “What’re you doing here, Jared?”

“It’s term break,” He shrugged.

Jensen tilted his head.

“You thought I would never come back?”

The wolf shrugged.

“I… I never meant to imply that, Jensen. I- I have my job there, so I’ll have to go there. But I’ll always come back.” He shrugged, “I guess it just means that I’ll be doing a whole lot of back and forth.”

“You’ll come back?” Jensen asked.

“Always,”

And then they were kissing, fingers stroking over clothes and skin till he wasn’t sure who was touching where, but it felt good. When they finally pulled back, they were both breathing heavily, panting little puffs of air that mingled between them. Jared reached up to cup his hands around the older man’s face.  
“Don’t you ever do this to yourself, again. Okay?”

“Hmm?”

“Jen, you’re barely more than a bag of bones right now. What would I’ve done if I got here and found you were dead?”

“Not dead,”

“And thank God for that!”

Jensen smiled and then nudged him gently till they were sprawled on the mattress in the corner of the room.

Jared snuggled in, heart constricting when he could wrap his arms around the older man and then had space to spare when formerly Jensen’s bulk had barely allowed him to get his arms all the way across the other man.

For long moments they simple lay there, content to be in each other’s arms and enjoy the distant sounds of the forest through the open door. However, when he felt himself begin to nod off, Jared forced himself up on his elbows, “You hungry?”

Jensen snuffled and shook his head.  
“When was the last time you ate anything?”

The wolf cracked one eye open and glared at him but Jared was unmoved, smacking his rump with lightly as he walked over to where he’d discarded his backpack.  “You’re eating something and then we can sleep.”

“You’re not hungry?” Jensen asked, rubbing his eyes tiredly in a way that made him look about five years old.

“I’m hungry too,” Jared smiled as he pulled out his last remaining can.

Jensen groaned when he saw what was in his hand but opened his mouth without protest when Jared offered him a spoonful.

They were both almost asleep when Jared remembered why he’d come in the first place, “I’ve got something for you.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s in my bag.”

“Show me when we wake up,” Jensen mumbled and tightened his arms around the younger man.

Jared laughed but laid back happily, a strange sense of _home_ filling him as he lay in his wolf’s arms.

 

3

  
“So…” Jensen mumbled sleepily, “Where’s my gift?”

Jared laughed, remembering the article and pulling out a hard-bound full colour version of it and presenting it to Jensen. He’d given the older man equal author-ship rights and it had been a hugely successful endeavor.

Jensen studied it for long moments before a tiny smile tilted up the corners of his lips, “Thanks,”

“It gets better,” Jared told him.

“Yeah?”

He nodded, “This article has become so popular that I was approached by four animal rights groups asking about the Durnibaar. They want to make this range a protected zone where hunting is prohibited.”

Jensen’s eyes shined, “That’s great.”

“Wouldn’t have been possible without your photographs.”

“Or your words,”

Jared shrugged, “Anyway, I was also approached by the National Geographic magazine. They want to reproduce some of the pictures and want to talk to you about whether you have any published pictures of the Durnibaar.”

“What did you tell them?”

“I said I’ll talk to you about it.”

Jensen smiled.

 

4

It took nearly a week, but by and by Jensen’s health improved. Jared laughed as they both frantically pawed at each others clothes. They had never done this before and Jared was as nervous as he was eager.

Jensen squeezed his butt through his jeans, “Can’t wait to spread you out on my bed, Sweetheart.”

“You think I’m going to bottom?” He asked, pausing.

Jensen nodded, “Yes, so good for me.”

“Jen…” He stopped the older man with a hand on his chest, “I-…”

“I’m a wolf, Jared…” The man sighed, reaching for him again.

“Just because you’re a wolf doesn’t mean you’re going to _top_!” Jared argued even as they continued undressing each other.

“Not because I’m a wolf!”

“No?”

Jensen paused, “Well, yes... but not because of what you think!”

Jared only laughed as he sucked another kiss on that tempting neck.

“Jared, please. It’s not safe!”

That brought him up short, “Not _safe?”_

Jensen sat back on his haunches as he struggled to regain his breath. “Not safe,” He repeated. “My wolf  
is going to see this as a battle for dominance and attack,”

“Me?” Jared questioned incredulously.

“Jared, the reason you can argue with me is because my wolf trusts you. But topping will be viewed as an attempt for dominance-” He held up a hand to pre-empt away Jared’s protest, “and my wolf will attempt to defend itself, _even from you.”_

“I-... I won’t _always_ be the bottom?” Jared asked, hesitating.

“Not unless you want to,” Jensen returned.

Something must have given away his trepidation though, because Jensen stilled, carefully reaching out to tuck one stray strand behind Jared’s ear, his fingers skimming over the smooth cheek-bones, “We don’t have to do this, Jared. ... I- I am happy with what we have.”

Jared inhaled deeply to shore up his courage, tipping his head forward, so that he could rest it against the older man’s, “I _want_ to do this.”

Jensen’s hand slipped down to cup him lightly, “That doesn’t feel like desire, Jared...”

He huffed out a laugh as he pushed his hips into that hand, feeling himself twitch anew, “I’m interested... just ... _scared?”_

Jensen nodded, “I’ll take care of you.”

Jared jerked his head in acknowledgement as he crawled up on the mattress, settling on his hands and knees to make it easy for Jensen to mount him. He shuddered when a warm palm glided down his sides.

“Not like this,”

“Wha-what?”

“Not like this,” Jensen repeated, “Not so ... clinically.”

Jared swallowed, “okay,”

“Turn over for me, Sweetheart.”

He couldn’t help the startled laugh at the unexpected endearment, “Not a chick,”

Jensen just dipped down to plant a chaste kiss on his half-hard length in response, “Trust me, I’m aware.”

 

5

It was an old argument between them, and Jared huffed as Jensen worried at the thin skin of his neck before pulling away, “I’m thirty two, Jensen. I’ve got a doctorate.... And I’m nowhere near innocent...”

“I-... What has that got to do with me turning you?”

Jared sighed, “You do realise that I’m _not_ an idiotic seventeen year old girl blinded by love and desperate to join her supernatural boyfriend in the after-life, right?”

“I-...I do not understand that reference...” Jensen frowned.

“It’s an adolescent roman-... never mind. “ He shook his head, “I just... did you seriously expect me to jump with joy and beg to be turned into a Were as well?”

“Well, I never expected you to beg...” Jensen trailed off with a teasing smile.

“Why can’t it be the reverse?!”

“Huh?”

“Join me as a human!” And he did toss the cushion he was toying with at the wolf’s head. Unfortunately, Jensen’s reflexes meant he snagged it out of thin air well before the soft pillow could make contact with his face.

“You’re... asking me to give up my Pack?”

“That’s what you were expecting of me, weren’t you? To give up my family?”

“I wasn’t!” Jensen denied, “You’d always be able to meet them....”

“But why can’t you be human?”

“Because it’s just not feasible biologically, Jared... I can turn you into one of us, but nothing can turn me into you!”

“And is it really important for me to become like you? Can’t we live as we are now? Me as a human and you as a Durnibaar?”

“Yeah, but...”

“But what?!”

“You _really_ don’t want to be a wolf?”

“Eating raw meat and walking on all fours is really not my thing, Jen.”

“What about our excellent constitution? You wouldn’t have to slog quite as much as you do to maintain yourself. Your constitution would keep you fit.”

“I enjoy working out!”

“Fine. How ‘bout our immunity?”

“I trust modern medicine.”

Jensen hung his head. “Why is staying human so important to you?”

“Why is _turning_ me so important _to you_?” Jared returned. “Can’t a long and happy life together be enough for you? Does it have to be eternity?”

Jensen closed his eyes, but when he opened them again there was peace in them, “A very long and very happy life. _Together_. With you.”

He smiled and leaned in for a kiss. “Together,”

For long minutes neither of them said anything, then, “How will you break the news to your Pack?”

Jensen gave a mirthless chuckle, “Yeah, they’re not going to take it well.”

“You can always come visit. And if they need you, you’re only going to be a phone call away.”

“I know,”

Jared twisted so that he was resting his chin on Jensen’s chest, “I love you,”

This time Jensen’s smile was genuine, “I know.”

“Never should’ve introduced you to Star Wars,”

“You said it was a good series,”

“I did.”

“Did I use it wrong?”

“No,” Jared laughed, “You used it perfectly, actually.”

“But-?”

“But nothing.” He told him seriously, tamping down on his feelings of insecurity.

Apparently Jensen was not as easily fooled though, because he whispered, “I love you too, you know. More than anything.”

“Sap,”

\---  
**[Masterpost](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/37951.html)  
[Next](http://sanshal.livejournal.com/38793.html)**


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new life...

 

  
**PART-V**  


1

Somehow, coming back seemed so much different than his usual returns from excursions... but maybe that had something to do with Jensen being with him this time. He pushed open the door to his modest double story house, “Well, this is home,”

“It’s beautiful,”

“Not quite a tree-house, but it’ll do in a pinch, right?”

“Yeah.” Jensen smiled at him, swooping up swiftly to plant a kiss before withdrawing.

“I’ll get the dogs tomorrow morning.”

“Dogs?”

“Yeah, I have two. Didn’t I tell you?”

“You did,” Jensen nodded, “I’d simply forgotten. Sorry.”

“You had a lot on your mind.” Jared tried to hold onto his smile when Jensen grinned up at him, trying to ignore the pinch of guilt he felt at making the man give up everything he’d ever known for him.

 

2

Getting the dogs was a novel experience. Jensen seemed excited to meet them, and usually his babies were also eager and brimming with affection when Jared picked them up after any amount of time. However this time they were almost down cast and quiet, tails wagging gently as they followed Jared quietly towards the car.

“Are they alright?” He asked the kennel-keeper, worried at their lack of usual greeting.

“Yes, they were so eager to see you. I don’t know why they’re acting shy...” The man answered; a puzzled frown on his face.

Jared nodded and settled his dues before jogging down the hall to the drive-way where his SUV was parked. He was taken aback to find Jensen in the backseat with his hounds- usually they were boisterous and needed Jared to make new friends, but both his dogs were lying quietly with their heads on Jensen’s lap and the man was stroking carefully through their fur.

“Did-... did you do something?”

“Hmm?”

“To my- to my dogs. They’re not so quiet usually.”

“I’m sorry,”

“Sorry!!!” Jared yelped, “Jensen, what- what did you do?!”

“Nothing!”

He glared at the man in the rear-view, “The truth. Now!”

“I didn’t _do_ anything.” Jensen protested, “Honest!”

“Then...?”

“I think it might have something to do with the fact that my wolf is an Alpha. They can scent that I’m not all human... and...”

Jared narrowed his eyes curiously, intrigued by the blush on the man’s cheeks, “And?”

“And they can smell me on you.”

“Oh,” And it was his turn to blush.

“So they think I’m the head of the family, now.”

“Oh.” Jared swallowed. “But there’s nothing wrong with them, right? They’re not sick?”

“No,” Jensen smiled slightly, stroking through their fur as he petted them, “They’re healthy.”

 

3

Jared could not have been happier with the new arrangement- he got to pursue his first love- _teaching,_ AND he came back home to Jensen every day. It was almost too perfect to be true. He had initially worried about how Jensen would settle in the city, but was relieved to discover that the man was as at home in his role of a free-lance photographer as he was with being the Pack Alpha of the _Durnibaar_ clan. As a bonus, he was handy to have around the house as well, fixing all the leaky pipes or creaky hinges around the house that Jared had been putting off from fixing.

He usually came home to a perfectly cooked dinner and his dogs already walked and cared for. And then they indulged in a bit of ‘private time’.

Jensen accompanied him to select gatherings at the university and he found himself preening under all the compliments that rained from every side for having landed such a ‘perfect catch’. Under ordinary circumstances he might have worried about his partner straying – _given the amount of attention Jensen garnered_ \- but now that he knew how loyal the _Durnibaar_ were to their chosen mates, he simply relaxed and basked in all the adulation, confident that he was only one who had Jensen’s attention.

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t realise in his happiness how the object of his affection was fading away right before his eyes. And if Head of Psychiatry- Dr. Omudson hadn’t pointed out how Jensen’s smile didn’t reach his eyes, he would have never noticed anything amiss until it was far too late.

Once he had been made aware of it though, Jared couldn’t deny how true the allegation was: Jensen was like a ghost around the house, taking care of everything like he was working off a debt. His dogs had never been better groomed, but he could not remember the last time he had seen the man in his lupine form.

“Jensen?”

The man turned, a smile ready at his lips at Jared’s call. But he could see how the green eyes had lost their shine and how withered Jensen looked.

“Are you happy?”

“Of course!” The man smiled, “What brought this on?”

He shook his head. “When ... when was the last time you shifted, man?”

He shrugged, “Yesterday,” And after a guilty pause, “Did- did you find fur?”

_Well, that explained the almost obsessive cleaning._

He shook his head, “No, but... is it harmful for your wolf?”

“The fur?” Jensen questioned in confusion.

“The inability to shift regularly,” he clarified.

Jensen shrugged again, “Don’t think so,”

“You don’t miss running around freely?”

“Yeah,” The man agreed easily, “But I can’t exactly do that here, can I?”

 _And he had never spoken up so far._ Jared sighed.

 

It was still strange to comprehend that being unable to shift could actually cause Jensen genuine distress and being human, Jared admitted that he was not in a position to judge. Nevertheless, Jensen never uttered a syllable of complaint about their present situation and seemed legitimately happy with whatever they had managed to build between them.

With Jared’s prodding Jensen finally agreed to the meeting with the National geographic magazine’s representative and sold some of his unpublished photographs.  Getting him to agree took Jared an entire week and it was only when he saw Jensen reading a consent letter that he understood that with the _Durnibaar_ being shifters, the ethics of the situation was even more convoluted than normal because publishing a picture of one of the pack was the same as publishing a _person’s_ image. He tried to put himself in the photographed wolf’s shoes ( _paws?)_ and imagine the scenario- how would he react to seeing his face in a magazine? He would probably be okay with it, provided it wasn’t a _‘bad’_ picture... but the magazine had chosen ‘natural’ shots and so okay, maybe the problem was a genuine one. No one liked having a candid shot of their face splashed across magazines.

Still, it was only when he came home from work early one day to find Jensen curled in his wolf-form on the bed with Jared’s dogs flanking him and stuffed toys he’d never seen piled on the bed that he realized that maybe things weren’t as happy as he’d imagined.

Jensen immediately straightened when he noticed Jared. A quick commanding howl and both dogs were jumping off the bed leaving the room. Jared watched them wriggle past his legs and when he raised his head, Jensen had already shifted.

“Sorry,” the older man whispered, pink staining his cheeks as he grabbed at his robe to make himself decent and hurriedly gathered the scattered toys in a canvas bag. “I’ll clean it up.”

Jared watched through misty eyes as the toys were all rounded up within minutes. Then the sealed bag was being tossed into Jensen’s suitcase where he had obviously been hiding it. Jensen grabbed a brush from his suitcase and wiped the coverlet to catch stray canine and lupine hair before tossing it back in and pushing the suitcase back under the bed.

“On a scale of one to in-the-doghouse... how mad are you?”

Jared stared. “What?”

Jensen seemed to relax at his incomprehension, approaching and cautiously grabbing Jared’s biceps, “I know you didn’t want to see that. I’m sorry... forgive me?”

Jared could only blink.

“Jared?”

He shook himself to focus on the situation. “I- I never realized.”

“It’s fine.”

“It’s not.”

“I can deal, Jared.”

“You need somewhere where you can shift.”

“Are- are you breaking up with me?”

He shook his head, “NO, I- I’m thinking we- We’ll move.”

“What?”

“Move,” He announced. “We’ll go to a- a house with a large enclosed yard so that you can shift without fear of being discovered.”

Jensen nodded.

\---

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	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fates intervene...

 

  
**Part- VI**  


1 

It took a month of looking, but ultimately they found the perfect house. Jared got the key from the estate agent and they opened the door to what would be their new beginning. The place had an old smell to it but Jensen assured him that with the windows open, the stale stench could be aired out soon enough. The place would need a new coat of paint at least and the creaky doors would have to e oiled, but they both liked what they saw so far.

“Upstairs?”

Jensen eyed the stairs distrustfully and nodded , “Upstairs.”

Despite the woe-begone appearance, the steps held and Jared stood looking down at their future living room with satisfaction. And then h made the mistake of taking a step to the right.

 

2

Jared’s eyes widened when he felt the floor give way beneath him abruptly and then for an interminable moment all he could think of was pain. He was vaguely aware of Jensen’s voice calling for him but it seemed to come from a long way off.  
“Breathe...”

Jared did.

“Sshhh... just breathe, okay?”

He swallowed, then winced when it felt like he was swallowing blood. It took a moment for him to realize the sharp iron-y smell was coming from around him rather than from what he’d swallowed.  
“Jared...?”

He forced himself to open his eyes, feeling like each lid weighed a pound. “J- Je- Jensen?” He croaked.

His boyfriend nodded, mustering a watery smile, “Just hold on, okay?”

“Hospi...?”

Jensen frowned in confusion. For a second Jared cursed his boyfriend’s lack of a normal background, “Call 911..”

“You need a healer,” Jensen argued.

“Yes, 911.”

The furrow between his brows deepened but Jensen obeyed, shifting awkwardly to retrieve his phone from his jeans pocket, re-adjusting his hold on Jared as he did.

Jared nearly passed out again at the minor shift in position and was abruptly aware of something far more frightening.

“Jen.” _He just didn’t have the strength to use his boyfriend’s full name..._

The man looked up from his phone at his voice.

“I-I can’t feel my legs,”

“I’ll call 911-”

“No,”

“Jared?”

“Can’t feel my legs, Jen... _Spinal injury_. Don’t you get it? I-I’ll never walk again.”

“I’ll carry you,”

He had to smile at the automatic offer but shook his head, regretting the motion instantly, “Don’t want to live like that,”

“Jared?”

“Please?”

“I- I don’t understand...” Jensen pleaded helplessly although the look in his eyes suggested otherwise.

“Let me go,”

“You promised,” And Jensen was openly crying now, “You promised me a long life... You can’t go back on your promise.”

“Promised you a long AND happy life, Jen. Won’t be happy now.” He argued. He was vaguely aware of the cold beginning to seep into his extremities but ignored in favour of focussing on Jensen. _On the plus side, the cold took away some of the pain._

“If I can promise you’ll walk again, will you be happy?”

“You can’t,”

“I can.” Jensen returned with utter conviction.

“How?” He asked curiously. _Guess curiosity was in his very DNA..._

“Let me turn you-”

“Jen-”

“I know how you feel about it. And I wouldn’t have suggested it otherwise... You promised me we’d have a long life together. And I was ready for that... But now...”

“I’ll walk?” Jared questioned. _Was it real? Despite having watched his boyfriend shift, he still found himself cynical of ‘magic’._

“A wolf that can’t hunt is a dead wolf, Jared. Yes, you’ll walk... you shall even run again.”

He swallowed, _he could barely feel his fingers anymore..._ “Do it.”

Jensen nodded, closing his eyes for a minute to centre himself before he was hovering over him again, “Hold still, alright?”

He managed a nod, “I shall try.”

Jensen nodded before very carefully reaching out and touching the rebar that was protruding from his side.

“Ugh...” He clenched his eyes shut, even that minute movement having felt like having a red-hot poker being run through him.

“Sorry,”

He shook his head, turning his head sideways to spit out the mix of blood and saliva that had pooled there.

“This may hurt, okay. I- I shall try to be as careful as i can but-”

“Do it.” He growled.

Jensen nodded then carefully lifted the blood-soaked material of his shirt, hissing when the wet material stuck to his wound. Jared’s breath hitched but he bit hard on his lips.

“It won’t tear,” Jensen grumbled.

Jared couldn’t hold in his startled laugh, “Yeah, the problem with buying good quality stuff.”

Jensen scowled. “Okay. Don’t freak out,  yeah?”

Jared nodded, struggling to peer down the length of his body to see what Jensen was doing. Jensen closed his eyes for a second and then grit his teeth and Jared watched in startled wonder as his pointer-finger nail extended and curled to form a claw. Without a word, Jensen pulled up the torn fabric and held it from Jared’s body before using his claw to slice through the material till it was lying in wing- like flaps on either side of the rebar.

Next, he hovered over Jared and undid the buttons of his collar and bared his shoulder to the cold air of the room.

Jared shivered instantly, teeth chattering as the cold combined with the blood loss.

“It’ll be better soon.” Jensen whispered.

He nodded.

Jensen pulled back and watched him for a second. Then the air around him shimmered and instead of the man, Jared was staring at his wolf.

 

Jared was gratefully for the pain that prevented him from laughing, because Jensen in his wolf-form while wearing his everyday clothes was a comical sight. A large furry head emerged through the tee-shirt’s head opening and it was obvious that the material was constricting his bulk because it was stretched to near breaking point across his shoulders. And an unnatural bulge along his thighs told him where his tail was.

The wolf lapped at the blood where the rebar pierced his skin and Jared watched as bit by bit the whole area was cleared of blood. Then the wolf nosed carefully at his throat and Jared closed his eyes, relaxing into the touch before jerking when sharp canines punctured his skin.

Jared’s eyes flew open t the pain and he beat futilely on the wolf’s side but Jensen’s jaws were relentless and never loosened. Ultimately he lost the battle with consciousness and surrendered to the blissfully calm dark.

When he opened his eyes next, he was relieved to find himself looking at the familiar walls of his own house as he lay in his side in his own bed. A glance down at his body showed that the rebar was gone and the wound had been cleaned (a taped gauze attesting to the fact) but he was shirtless. His eyes flew to the door when Jensen entered.

“How’re you feeling?”

“Like I was impaled on an iron rod.”

The older man chuckled quietly at that but placed whatever he was carrying on the bed next to Jared and then clambered up.

“So. ...ummm... this is going to hurt.” Jensen told him, gently pushing at him till he was lying on his back.

 The injury throbbed at the movement and the sheets felt like gravel on the tender skin of his back where the rebar had punctured through him, but he held back his complaints to play the cynic: “More than getting impaled?”

Jensen just nodded and opened the white box. Jared recognized it as the same case he had placed in the freezer the first time he’d come, saying it was something to be used in emergency. He swallowed but gave a nod of acknowledgement.

Jensen poured something from a small bottle on an cotton ball and wiped his pectorals- judging from how cool it felt, Jared guessed it was alcohol.

And then he pulled out a large syringe filled with a clear golden fluid. Without further ado, he jammed it’s nozzle into Jared’s heart and emptied it. Almost instantly Jared felt as though something was burning through his very blood and thrashed ob the bed, but Jensen held him down, murmuring soothing nonsense till he sank back into the peaceful black again.

Jared’s world had been reduced to the sheer agony coursing through virtually _every single tissue_ for days now. Jensen had promised it was temporary and somehow the pain seemed less intense whenever the wolf was around. It was almost as if he’d forgotten what his life was like before the constant pain that had rendered him helpless and confined to his bed. Even then, today seemed particularly bad. He whimpered softly, knowing it would bring Jensen.

As if on cue, the wolf appeared, carrying moist- _cold-_ towels that were welcome on Jared’s heated body.

“Hurts,” He croaked, his voice long gone from the sheer amount of screaming he’d done when Jensen had plied the rebar he’d been impaled on out of him.

“I know,” Jensen soothed, wiping his sweaty brow with one of the towels he’d brought. “It’ll get better soon.”

He felt tears clumping his lashes together as another cramp tore through his body. He wished Jensen hadn’t thought it necessary to restrain his hands to the headboard. ( _Although, honestly, he knew it had been necessary when he’d nearly made himself bleed with how hard he’d scratched his own skin.)_

Jared blushed when Jensen carefully tugged off the covers, shivering lightly despite the fact that he was sweating. Jensen dipped down to press their lips lightly and Jared sighed as the kiss wrapped around him like a warm blanket, taking away some of the unbearable agony. He whimpered in disappointment when Jensen drew away.

“Ssshhh... easy,” The older man hushed, stroking the sharp line of his cheekbone with the back of his finger sensuously enough that Jared felt a sharp pulse of _want_ despite his circumstances. Jensen, finely attuned to his thoughts- _now more than ever-_ sniggered quietly.

“Shut up,” he huffed, rolling onto his front when Jensen tugged. He relaxed into the bed as he felt warm fingers probe the region where the rebar had gone through and then soft lips pressed against the spot.

“How’d s’it look?”

“Clean, barely a scar to speak of,” Jensen confirmed, helping him roll again.

He lifted his head to wordlessly request another kiss and smiled when Jensen obliged, the wolf straddling him as he leaned down to claim the offered lips. Jared whimpered when the rough denim of Jensen’s trousers accidentally brushed his hyper-sensitive groin. It had felt like steel-wool being rubbed on his tender parts even through the soft cotton ofthe sheets wrapped around him to preserve his modesty.

Jensen pulled back at his groan, watching him carefully and without the distraction of the older’s man’s lips on his, Jared was far too aware of the discomfort between his legs.

“What hurts?”

He blushed, shaking his head.

Jensen shook his head, one hand carefully brushing back his sweaty locks, “Don’t try to be stoic. Tell me so I can make it better,”

Jared bit his lip but nodded his reluctant acceptance.

“So ... ready to admit that it hurts?”

“Yeah,”

“Where?”

“Between...” He trailed off, mortification flooding him and the older man’s eyes honed in on the correct location without further details.

“Between your legs?” Jensen enquired to confirm, his eyes suddenly losing their softness and turning sharp.

He nodded miserably.

“Let me help you,”

He nodded, his cheeks turning a brighter red when the wolf looped one of Jared’s ties just above his knee and secured it to the headboard. Jensen repeated the procedure with Jared’s other leg as well, till he was left on his back, legs spread wide and obscene as Jensen kneeled between them.

“Trust me?”

He nodded with a laugh- _would he be in this position if he didn’t trust Jensen so much?_

The wolf retrieved a sharp blade from behind his back and Jared jerked, futilely trying to scramble away, “Jen, no! Ple- please... I- I’ll stop complaining. Please...”

“Ssshhh...” Jensen murmured, flicking on his lighter and heating the blade, “trust me.”

Jared howled as the blade came down between his legs before passing out from the sheer agony. When he regained consciousness, he was alone in the room with his legs freed and a strange wetness between them. He closed his eyes and let the tears come.

 

3

Jared stared out at the brilliant hues of fall as the train arrived in the quaint little station and accepted Jensen’s help to disembark. Even though it was sunny out, he shivered from cold and smiled gratefully at his alpha when the older man held open a jacket for him. Ever since his change, Jensen had handled everything, including applying for leave on behalf of Jared at the University. He climbed in between Jensen and Tahmoh in the Pack’s lone truck and tried to ignore just how ‘alive’ Jensen looked now.

Not surprisingly, Jensen was called away for ‘ _Pack business’_ minutes after reaching and Jared curled on the mattress and closed his eyes. He was aware when the older man returned, but kept his breathing even so as not to give away that he was awake.

Felicia came to meet him the next day and he begged the beta to let him crash on her couch.

It was three days before Jensen had him summoned.

Jared drew himself up to his full height as he stepped into Jensen’s cottage, careful to keep his expression blank. Apparently, the alpha had expected a meek and broken man instead of him because for long minutes Jensen just stared at him. Obviously, he had no idea how to begin now.

"You called," The taller man prompted.

"Yeah... yeah, I did." The alpha hesitated; then, “Jared...”

“Don’t _Jared_ me!” He snapped.

Anger flared briefly in those vibrant green eyes, “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“Of course I have!” He shot back, “And since you obviously didn’t approve of my actions, you’ve called me to heel. _Like an effing dog._ ”

Jensen’s eyes widened impossibly at Jared’s visible anger, but he restrained himself expertly, “I seem to have offended you in some way...” The wolf- ( _well, now he was ‘alpha- wolf’ Jared guessed, since he’d been turned into one as well_ ) - mused. “Tell me, please?”

Jared snorted in disbelief.

“Jared...” Jensen began hesitantly, “Is- is this something you didn’t want? Did... Did I force this conversion on you?!”

“What do you think?” He spat.

“But... but you agreed to this!” Jensen pleaded helplessly.

“Agreed to be _castrated_?” Jared growled, a small part of him purring in satisfaction when Jensen blanched.

“No, but... Jared, you do realize that you’re _not_ a eunuch, don’t you?” Jensen explained urgently.

This brought him up short, “I’m not?”

Jensen shook his head, “Why would you even think you were?”

“You... you cut me.”

“No I didn’t,” Jensen refuted instantly, then memory seemed to brighten his eyes as he asked, “Jeez, man; is that what you thought I did with that knife?”

Jared felt his knees give way, but the alpha caught him before he fell, “Jensen?”

“Yeah, Sweetheart?” He murmured, gently stroking his hair.

“If not... _that..._ what did you do?”

The alpha smiled, “You’re omega now, Jared... you were in pain because your birthing channel was blooming... A clean cut heals faster. So.” He shrugged.

“I-... you gave me a vagina?”

Jensen nodded.

“Holy shit, I’m a freak!”

“No, you are one of the _Durnibaar_ ,” Jensen returned. “You really didn’t know that you were ... uh... _whole?_ ”

“I’ve been avoiding touching myself,”

Jensen stepped closer, telegraphing his movements as he extended a hand to brush Jared’s cheek, “Let me show you?”

He nodded, allowing himself to be guided in towards the bedroom. He swallowed as Jensen carefully undressed him, taking the time to press kisses into his skin every so often. Jared gasped as the last layer fell away, baring him to the cool air of the room.

“Watch,” Jensen whispered and he reluctantly returned his gaze to the mirror, trembling when his alpha cupped him.

“See, you’re whole,” Jensen told him and he nodded, shivering when he felt a finger slip into his newest opening.

“Hurts?”

He shook his head, widening his legs to grant Jensen better access. He closed his eyes and allowed himself to be guided to bed. Jensen played with his body as expertly as ever and there was only the lightest feeling of uncomfortable fullness when he was finally breached.

“Ready for my knot?”

He couldn’t comprehend how he was supposed to accommodate a knot when he already felt so stuffed, but he nodded nevertheless. The sensations magnified till they bordered on pain but never really crossed that all-important threshold when Jensen tied to him.

Neither of them had even considered using protection and Jared found himself wondering if he would get pregnant.

_He decided he wouldn’t mind it if he was._

_\---_  
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	8. Epilogue

 

 

**Epilogue**

1

After that it was almost as if he’d always been here. The Pack felt like home and Jared soon got used to spending his days with the other betas. It was a full moon two weeks after their arrival and Jensen told him that it was time he tried his hand at shifting. Jared nodded, eager and terrified at the same time.

“What if I can’t?”

“You will,” Jensen promised, pulling him in for an embrace and holding him close till the hammering of his heart eased into a regular cadence again.

When the night came Jared was too terrified to make his first try in front of others, so Jensen assured him that he could do it in their cottage. They spent the time lying in each other’s arms till the soft silvery moonlight filtered through the open door and then Jensen settled himself over Jared.

“Just close your eyes and let your body go. The wolf will handle the rest.”

He did but when he opened his eyes he was still a man. Jensen, on the other hand was now a wolf.

There was a shimmer and Jensen was back to his bipedal form, “Try again. Relax. .. it isn’t difficult.”

Jared closed his eyes and tried to focus on Jensen’s steady breathing in his ear. He felt a tingling at the base of his spine- an odd mixture of a feeling like needing to pee and having pins-and needles at the same time. Instead of panicking he let the sensation crescendo and then everything went wonderfully quiet. He opened his eyes and jumped at the sight of paws instead of his hands, near toppling over as he tried and failed to use just his ‘feet’ to stand.

“Easy,” Jensen whispered.

He looked up at the voice and found his mate right next to him. And God, Jensen had never looked better.

“You’re gorgeous, Jared.”

He whined in reply, still not in control of all his faculties in wolf-form.

“Do you wanna see?”

He nodded.

Jensen led him to the full length mirror in the corner of the room and Jared followed on stumble-y, unsteady new legs.

Once he caught his reflection though, he just sat and stared. ... He was massive in wolf form... possibly even larger than Jensen or close about.

His mate – _as though aware of his thoughts, took that moment to change –_ and Jared watched as Jensen stepped up to sit next to him.

 _Alright, so maybe Jensen was larger._ He pouted.

_I’m an Alpha, Sweetheart...._

He jerked at the voice. It sounded like Jensen but his lips hadn’t moved. He glanced askance at his mate and relaxed when the other wolf tipped his head in acknowledgement.

Unlike the large green eyes of Jensen’s wolf form, his own eyes were tip-tilted and appeared a strange mix of hazel and brown. So obviously the eyes depended on the human’s own eyes.

He tilted his head as he studied his fur. .. and realized after a minute that it was chestnut like his hair. His belly was made of lighter coloured fur though and Jared nuzzled his alpha happily.

Jensen grinned –as much as he could with a lupine face- and sat, slowly licking at Jared. Initially he tried to escape the moist tongue but ultimately resigned himself to a grooming session by the older wolf.

 

His new life was rewarding and it was rare that Jared missed teaching. He tried to hide that feeling of loss from Jensen but knew he hadn’t succeeded when the man came and dropped a pile of envelopes in his lap two months later.

“What is it?”

“This is... well, this is me trying to make up for what I took from you.”

“What?”

“I know you can’t go back to being a full-time teacher, but you will be taking 5 guest sessions per term at your old University. The rest of the time, you will be the resident advisor on the Durnibaar wolves at the Hill University.”

“You got me a place at Hill University?!”

Jensen nodded. “Your paper opened up a lot of roads. Since they are so close, they decided it would be a great idea to have a full time faculty teaching about the subject. And when I dropped your application for the post... well _you are the pioneer on the subject._ So of course they hired you.”

Jared threw his arms around Jensen, “Thank you, man. This is great.”

Jensen nodded, a tiny smile playing at his lips, “You will be driving to town three times a week... and ... uhm, a few of the younger ones were also inspired by you to continue their studies; so you’ll find company.”

 

 

2

  
Although he was initially nervous to start at a new place, he soon found himself no longer having to battle his nerves as he settled into a routine. His best day was of course the one where Jensen accompanied him for a demonstration. Initially the university authorities had been sceptical at allowing a large wolf into their campus and had insisted he be at least collared but Jared had managed to convince them that collaring would only anger the wolf and make him act out. However, un-collared Jensen- _or Rusty, as he was called on campus_ \- was absolutely docile and obedient. Jensen mostly sat on the raised podium with his head in Jared’s lap on the days the accompanied Jared. Some of the students were scared, but most welcomed the furry ambassador to their curriculum enthusiastically. Jared took the precaution of not letting anybody too near, and it helped that with practice his and Jensen’s minds had become familiar enough that he didn’t have to be in wolf form to hear his mate and Jensen usually warned him of mischievous students before something happened that could be regretted.

He had initially thought that his new life would not permit pets, but Jensen had his dogs shipped over and though the two canines were initially wary of being among so many wolves, they soon settled in, forming fast friendships with the younger pups.

Now when he lounged on the large boulder that he’d mentally dubbed ‘Pride rock’ next to Jensen, he couldn’t picture a better life for himself. It may not have been a fairy-tale getting to this point, but it _was_ pretty perfect.

If he hadn’t been so strongly against plagiarism (or admitted to having read a certain young –adult romance), he might have even said that it was a ‘ _perfect piece of forever’_.

 

 

  
**The End.**  


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